MyCrazy4 Is The Better Half

My Crazy 4

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Throwing out Thanks and I am starting with them........

Ok. I have written enough sad and sentimental post about this Brain Cancer Bullshit so far.  And while I do appreciate you all following along and reading and sticking with me along my journey, it is time to get back to my regularly scheduled crazy ass writing and throw some thanks around.

I was told many times in the hospital by nurses and doctors that my fitness level and the shape I was in was a primary factor of why I was able to recover so fast and why I was able to get my ass up and out of that damn hospital bed and stand on my own two feet so fast.  They wanted me to pee while laying down.

"FUCK NO"  I am not pee'ing while sitting in a bed.

You can't walk to that toilet they said...."Ummm, kiss my ass! Watch me" as I walked to the toilet and pee'd and I ever made the joke that if you shake it more than twice you are playing with it.  Well, I had a shake party. lol

My fitness.  They knew about my fitness from the CrossFit band I had on my left wrist.  I think I even made a point to ask everyone that came in to look after me if they did CrossFit.  I have done CrossFit for years.  Either at home in my garage or at the wonderful Box of CrossFit Boiler Room in Villa Rica.

I had originally started learning about CrossFit from the Internet and finding blogs and sites to learn from.  The first site I actually started reading and following along besides the CrossFit Main Site was CrossFit Cedar Park in the Austin, Tx. area.  I remember leaving a comment on a post by Nikki Isbell years ago when I started. She and the Master David Tillman helped educate me as well.  After much research online and finding people on twitter, a woman by the name of Paige or on twitter she is know as @GasFamily started throwing me hooks with worms on them to reel me into the wonderful World of CrossFit.  She out of nowhere started offering me suggestions and workouts and ways to learn more about CrossFit and get better at it as well.

Paige never gave up on me through the magical ways of the Internet.

So, as the doc's and nurses and everyone else told me that my CrossFit Fitness Way of Life was a huge part of what saved my life.....I had to do the only thing that I knew how to do and that was talk shit and of course offer thanks to

Paige aka @GasFamily and Nikki Isbell and the CrossFit Cedar Park Family.

Myself, T and the kids owe you all for your love of CrossFit and the ability to spread the love to those of us that are just learning or still learning.

CrossFit Strong.  Cancer isn't killing CrossFit and Cancer is killing me and I am still CrossFit.

There will be more posts of me thanking a lot more of you, trust me.....It's coming.



Monday, March 17, 2014

Guess What........."You Have Brain Cancer"

I told you all my story and how I recall it all may bounce around and of course it has.

I went from starting with this It's Not Rocket Science

And then next I added this to the story The Beginning Of Brain Cancer - Part 2

I told you about starting my Radiation Treatments Session Number One Of Radiation

Which brings me to today.  Today I will tell how and what I felt as I found out that I was diagnosed with Brain Cancer.

It happened on March 3, 2014.  An appointment at Dr. Ahmad Khaldi's office who happens to be one of the TOP Cerebrovascular and Endovascular Neurosurgeons in the Country. Now I don't know what any of that shit I just typed means but he saved my life so I don't need to know.  He performed the surgery and got the "mass" out of my head.  Not saying "Brain" cause it is still being debated if I had / have a brain.

There is also Brenda Glenn who is Dr. Khaldi's assistant.  She is also the short haired hottie that put my head back together with screws, nuts and bolts and plates and then stapled me shut with about 30-35 staples.

Now as we headed to the appointment all I was really concerned about was getting the staples out.  I was nervous about that because I knew that it would not so much hurt but the nagging factor of getting 30 something staples pulled out was not going to be fun.  Boy was Brenda happy to see me.  She was so happy to see me that she jumped for joy over seeing how good my "fault" line as I call it in my head was healing and she was so proud of her work.  She came in and joked and without even a warning or notice..

SHE STARTED RIPPING STAPLES OUT OF MY MELON.  Ok, that may be a little (A LOT) dramatic but it didn't feel great.  I was even making noises that led her to say "Oh, YOU"RE one of those!" lol. Yes I am one of those, I said.

Then Dr. Khaldi enters the office and sits in the chair all relaxed and such and starts telling T and I about the surgery and how he decided to do what he did.  Why he made the cut in my hairline instead of around my eyebrow and then he started telling us about the mass / tumor he took out of my head.  He explained that the surgery went great and he was pleased with how everything was healing.  He was telling us about how the tumor was not near my eyes and that was a good thing.  I loved that Dr. Khaldi was not trying to "Smart talk" us and was very informative about everything.

"You have Grade 4 Glioblastoma and it is a very fast spreading and aggressive type of Cancer in the Brain." He was showing us scans and pic's of my brain and where the tumor was and how there were other Cancer cells around other parts of my brain.  So after all of the talking and explaining and talking I kind of had NO DAMN IDEA of what the hell he even said. I mean I was listening and trying to comprehend but I just didn't understand it at all.  "OK, I said to him.....Can you please dumb it down for me?  Do I have Brain Cancer?"

YES! He said.  "You have Brain Cancer! And like I said it is an aggressive and fast spreading type of Cancer."  Then he gave me good news.  "It will not leave your brain and spread to other parts of your body."  OHHHH, That is GOOD NEWS?!!!  OK, I am thinking shit...I have fucking Brain Cancer.  I didn't cry when he told me.  I looked at T and our eyes met and then I took a deep sigh.  Then my next question.

"Am I going to die?"

Dr. Khaldi "Its not a matter of if but when."

FUCK!  That is when I started to tear up. (Just like I am now as I write this)

Now I am still trying to not lose it and T is calm as can be and Dr. Khaldi and Brenda are giving me hugs and telling me that I can beat this.  Now this is the funny part.  They told me that I was "YOUNG and HEALTHY".  Ok, I'm 41 and I have fucking Brain Cancer.  Where is the Young and who the fuck thinks Cancer is Healthy?

"Nothing you have done or nothing you could have done could have prevented this" they tell me.  Just a freak thing that happened and the seizure is what set it off and let us find out what was going on in your brain."

They tell me that I have a KP Score of 100. (Info on KP Scores) and that is the best score.  It basically says that I have a great potential for recovery.  Doesn't make me feel better but ok.  They tell me that they think since I am in good shape and physically fit that I will have a good chance at beating this even going through the Chemotherapy and Radiation.  They also then tell me that they are fast tracking me for Chemo and Radiation.

So on March 3, 2014 I was told that I have Brain Cancer.  My life has now been turned upside down and inside out.  I'm 41 with a fucking great awesome wife that loves me and we have four wonderful children.  I don't know what to think or what to do.

Me, the guy that CrossFits daily, eats clean, hasn't drank in 7 years, doesn't smoke and lives right has now been informed that I have Brain Cancer.

Life will never be the same.

But without Dr. Khaldi, I wouldn't have the chance to write this and or even have the chance to try and have a life.  I also asked him if doing Chemo and Radiation will make this better.  I can do six weeks of this and then die in six months? "YES, he said but you may also live many years!"

Dr. Khaldi and Brenda. 
And some dude with Brain Cancer.




Friday, March 14, 2014

Session Number One of Radiation Treatment.

Thursday March 13th is a day that will be added to the memory banks of my brain.

Wait.  Maybe not. I had Brain Surgery and I have Grade 4 GBM Brain Cancer.  Do I even have a brain?  Will I have a brain when it is all said and done?  Guess we will see.

I had my first session of Radiation Treatment.  Is that what I call it.....a "session"? shit I don't know, but I think I can call it whatever the fuck I want to at this point.

So, they make this mask to fit over my head and lock my into place on the table for the laser beams to zap me and get the Cancer cells to go away. (More on this over the weekend)  My first session was actually ok.  Getting there was not easy.  I started to freak out a bit on the ride over and snapped at T and the kids a couple times.  I was getting nervous and scared and just wanted to go home. FOR REAL....I have been know to quit but I have to fight for them

T and the 4 C's. 

So I get in the Radiation Center and I get ready and then its on.  They explain everything to me and tell me how its going to go and we get rolling.  Again, everyone is so nice.  

I lay on the table and they lock me into place.  Music is playing and we are off to a good start.  The Beach Boys...hell yeah.  Then a song from Heart plays and I am thinking they are trying to kill me instead of help me.  WTF man.....Heart????  Then we get back to the good stuff and another Beach Boys song comes on.  That was close.  I get a little nervous and start to move my hands and the dude says "We are almost done, try to stay still"  (So much for the Adavant working that didn't do shit so far to relax me) and then I thought the World was going to end.  All I asked for when they asked me about music was "NO COUNTRY" and wouldn't you know it.......COUNTRY cam on.  But again I was saved and my session was over midway through the song.

Up and out and it was like less than the 30 minutes.

"That wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible" I told myself.  Got a little locked up but didn't freak out.  Might need to take 2 Adavant for Session 2.  Asked a few questions about the Radiation that I wanted to know and then I was on my way up to get back with T and the kids.  My Radiation will not affect my sex life....Thank god.  I am a freak in the sheets and a man in the streets.  Ahhh hell, I am a freak in the streets too but whatever.  And some rumor about double flushing does not apply to me unless I have a serious funked up session of the toilet variety.

T and I decided that starting on March 13th the first day of my Radiation Sessions that we are going to take daily pic's.  One of me and T.  One of me and the C's and then one of all of us.  Daily reminders of life, love and happiness. 

T, the 4 C's and Lenox.

Damn, we are a good looking family. 

So there ya have it.  Session #1 went better than expected and I am ready for Session #2.

I will be adding more this weekend.



Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The Beginning of Brain Cancer......Part 2

If you need to be refreshed or need to catch up you can go to this link below and start from the beginning.

Battle of Brain Cancer Part 1

Damn it. Being told my head was cut open and stapled back shut was not fun to hear.  Seeing my wife and parents and buddy John was awesome.

Hearing about a tumor being cut out of my head. Not fun.

Standing up on my own two feet and being able to pee in a cup was awesome.

Finding out my shoulder was popping in and out...sucked ass.  Having a tube and shit drain out of my head....Not cool.  My nurses and doc's that would check on my all the time....ROCKED!!

So...Here are a few pic's from the hospital.  Cry if you want.  But laugh more at how shitty I look.  I was more concerned about my body looking so UNCrossFit like while being in that bed.  Arms shrinking and belly growing and legs losing size....I know my priorities are out of whack but that is me and how I am.  I worked hard to have a .000000005% body like Rich Froning and now it was down to .00000000001%.  So much for me winning the 2014 CrossFit Games. #BetterThanDying

So, I don't think they are making me into a 
Million Dollar CrossFit Man here. Just a guess.

This machine is not comparing my Open Scores to
rest of the field. 

Damn. I don't look any better here than before. 

Well, Hello Kitty. 

My Buddy John who drove from OHIO to make
sure I was ok and to actually keep Tracy from losing her mind.

I don't care if it's blurry, this is me and my 
She is that bad ass. Better than a half.

This is a nasty ass cut line. 30+ staples. 
I named myself "ZipperHead"

Post Hospital pic with the C's.
Other than T, my whole reason for living. 

I love the people in this pic more than I love myself.  
They are the only reasons I am even trying to fight and beat this
Brain Cancer.

So, there are some pic's.

I mean I don't even know what else to say.  I was hooked up to all kinds of stuff and then not hooked up.  I didn't like the fact that they had to pull a drain port out of my head, but I didn't like it being in there either so...whatever. 

I heard from people that I curse a lot.  The F word to be exact. FUCK. Yes, that one.  T told me she just now realized that I had legs.  All the years of me CrossFitting and working out she didn't realize that I had muscular legs until I lay in a hospital bed. I found that to be funny. 

I was also delighted to see that all of my body hair had grown back....Not really.  I was not happy with the nasty hamburger that I was fed.  I did love the jello though.  

Most importantly I was pleased to find out how everyone came together to support T while she spent so much time at the hospital.  T and the kids are everything to me.  I live and have lived my life trying to be a great husband and father.  Knowing that T and the kids were being taken care of while I was just sitting in a hospital bed made me feel better.

I will end this part of the story with this, I don't have any idea of all of the people that came to see us.  I know a good majority of you came up while I was knocked out.  To those of you that came up while I was out, thank you so much.  To those of you that I actually saw, thank you.

To those of you that came to show support and love to T, thank you.  To those of  you that also showed support to my mom and dad who flew in from Texas, thank you.

More to come. 



Saturday, March 8, 2014

It's Not Rocket Science

It's Actually Brain Surgery

Events as I remember them................And yes it may jump around a bit. Sorry.

Well. Today is March 6th and it has been a while since I have actually written, blogged or done anything that I would consider creative.

So today I am going to be creative and start my story of what happened to me.  Some of this will be a shock to you, some of this will not since a lot of you were right by my side as this was all happening.

Wednesday February 19th started as a normal ordinary day.  I woke up and got the day rolling just like every other day.  So here is what I remember.....

2-3 pm on the 19th of February  I can remember sitting at my desk and talking to T on the phone as she was returning home from an appointment with the kids.  I was eating lunch at the same time.  I hung up with T as she pulled into the driveway and I finished eating my lunch which was some fish nachos.


I remember waking up in a hospital bed looking at my T, my parents and my buddy John who drove from Ohio....T told me my first words when I woke up in recovery was "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?!!!"

I still to this day am not really clear on what happened.  I was at work in my office one minute and the next I am fucking waking up in a hospital bed with everyone staring at me.  Shit hooked in my arms, my head...Yeah my damn head. I had a tube coming out of my head.  IV's in both arms.  I remember sitting up and trying to get comfortable.  I can also remember wondering about the kids.  I hate being somewhere and not knowing where our kids are.  I see T and no kids.  Damn.  What has happened to me?

"You had a seizure at work!" T tells me.  "AT WORK!" I said.  For the love of God, all the places for me to fall out and something happen.  WORK..That figures. 12 years hard work, millions of hours and I have to have a damn seizure at work. oh well. I'm at the hospital now.

The very next thing I remember is a nurse pulling a catheter out of my dick.  Yeah, what man wouldn't remember that.  That is never a great feeling but when it is finally out and the feeling of pee'ing and relief hits, that is a beautiful thing.  I was then able to stand up against the bed and pee standing up with T and John and my dad holding onto my arms.  I was standing.  Felt great to be out of that bed.  I wanted to walk over to the toilet and pee but they wouldn't let me...Screw that.  I am not laying in bed and pee'ing in a cup.

Then I find out more bad news........Where to start.  I found out that I had lost something very dear to me.
My damn Garage Games One shirt from the 2013 Games.  I was so pissed to find out that they had to cut my shirt.  But thanks to Joe Bragg and his awesomeness he contacted the store that handles the Garage Games merchandise and they had me a shirt, the same exact one and a pair of shorts sent to my house.  That was awesome.  I loved that.  I had lost a belt and I think some jeans, but I was alive.  That is the great news.

I had hot nurses' and doctors and male nurses' were hot too. YES... "Scott you had a seizure and brain surgery" I was being told.  Ok. That explains the 30+ staples in my fucking head.  Man, I'm sure T is scared shitless, the kids are at home with her mom and my parents had to rush a flight in from Texas.  I love how everyone jumps for me but not like this.  Why do I have to scare people.  John "MassHole" Massie drove from Ohio...Damn.

How did a semi ok below average CrossFit Athlete like myself have a seizure with no warning?  No headaches or anything.

Well. This is Part One.  I will do more and more will be added as I can recall and as I am told.  I do find it funny that I was told over and over that I was very combative with the ER staff as they had to try and wrestle me down to get me taken care of.  I knew I could kick all y'alls ass. Just not in CrossFit. lol

Probably not my best writing I have ever done, I just want to include you all in my story as I can remember it best and keep true to myself....Try to stay funny in the hard times.

More to come.



Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Day That May Save The World.

Can it be February 7th already please.

I know I ask for a lot for myself mostly since I am selfish and all but please for the safety of my home and family can February 7th hurry up and get here.

For those of you that don't know on February 7th this much anticipated and anxiously awaited feature film is hitting theaters ....

Yes. The Lego Movie.  My kids are so stoked to see this. Have been since the very first day they heard about it.  They have the poster.  They have the minifigures.  They have the remote in hand and rewinding the dvr every time a commercial comes on for the movie.

They are excited to see this but to be completely honest, I AM TOO. 

You can go here Everything Is Awesome Song and listen to the great little catchy tune that is in the movie. 

Watch the previews and get excited along with us.

or this one..

February 7th does need to hurry. I am scared for my life that if the kids do not get to this movie soon that they are going to take over the house.  Now, I am not just scared for myself but also for T.  We are loving parents that try and do what is best for our kids but when the C's get crazy...THEY GET NUTS!  The C's are lego freaks.  Lego's in the bedrooms, in the playrooms, in the kitchen, in the living room, in the bathroom, everywhere.  We are in a lego house.  I am not home during the day, I have no idea if the kids are plotting against T and I.  They say they go to sleep at night but are they really planning something to take us down.

The News and Papers and CNN and so on can say video games are ruining our kids minds and brainwashing them.  Reports from doctors can claim that too much tv and not enough reading and exercise will make your kids rot away but I have done my own research.  I have proof and factual evidence that LEGOS are making the kids crazy.  LEGOS are making the kids turn against parents and authorities and that is why all the madness is happening in the WORLD.

That is why I ask.  Please let February 7th come faster.  It will not only save the lives of T and I along with our home, but it may also save the World. 

Everything is Awesome



Monday, January 20, 2014

2014 CrossFit Games Open.....Setting The Record Straight

Well it is that time of year again.  The CrossFit Games Open 2014 has begun with the registration process starting. So grab your $20 head on over to the wonderful site that CrossFit has set up. (CrossFit Games Open)  It's easy to do, anyone can do it and you don't want to be left of of the party.  Just ask Lisbeth Darsh who wrote this piece The Party We All Get To Crash.

I am in constant conversations with my CrossFit brothers and sisters of the Community about everything that is CrossFit.  So it was all but natural when Open Registration went live on 1-15-2014 that the topics of conversations went to "Did you sign up?" or "Are you going to sign up?" and throw in the "You are going to sign up!" and I have even had a few "Sign your bitch ass up loser!" but it just isn't going to happen for me. 

Let me tell you why.

The single main reason is that as of Tuesday the 21st of January after 6:30 a.m. I will no longer be a athlete of CrossFit Boiler Room.  My six months are up and at this point and time I am just not in the place to renew my dues.  Not a life or death thing, I have equipment at home that I will still wod with.  I will still get up early and knock out my workouts, it just won't be with my usual 5 a.m. crew.  Other things need to be taken care of right now.  So being that I will not be at the box, it is just not ideal for me to take part in the Open.  What I will be doing is trying to lend support and motivation to all of those I know that are doing the Open.  

I wanted to write this and get it out there for everyone so all of you knew that I wasn't simply a bitch or chickening out or scared.  I mean I am a bitch and I would be scared but I would still do it and bust my ass and have fun doing it.  I love a challenge.  Hell, just this morning after taking nearly 20 minutes to finish a wod and failing on 175# Clean and Jerk attempt, I stepped back, took my time and then got that 10# PR on that Clean and Jerk of the 175#.  So I would give it my all and try not to come in last and even if I did, I would embrace being LAST.  Seeing my name of that leaderboard even if it was in the last spot...Shit, someone has to hold all the other names up. 

So there.  Hope you all understand and if you don't, have someone read this over for you. 

Kiss The Baby


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