How my life is like the Olympics

So in the spirit of the Olympics I thought I would do a post about how my life compares to the Olympics.  Ok, ok I love sports and I a msure I could do a post about how my life compares to any sport, but I have to stick with the Olympics because that is what is HOT right now and I am HOT right now.

As the Opening Ceremonies begin I am the Flag carrier for the USA because I am a LEO and like T tells me I have to be the center of attention.  I carry the flag and wave it proudly.

My first event is Curling.  Give me a f-ing break. Basically sweeeping or mopping.   I hate to sweep or mop but I do it to help out in the house.  BRONZE Medal

Diaper Changing.  Oh shit, I would not even make it to the podium on this one. Ask T how many diapers I have changed out of all four of the C's.  Nevermind don't ask.

Laundry.  I have no problem and as a matter of fact I do alot of laundry around the house.  Problem is I usually leave it all around the house. I hate the putting up the clothes act.  SILVER Medal

Cooking meals. Well since I am really never home during the day this might not be the best event for me.  I will fake an injury and pretend I can't compete.

Cleaning.  I can clean and I do alot of cleaning.  No contest.  GOLD Medal

Taking Care of the kids (by myself).  This is a team event so since I have T on my team we win.  GOLD Medal

Bathing the kids.  I can hold my own on this one.  Took a long time to qualify but I made it and finished strong.  BRONZE Medal

Garbage duty.  Been doing this forever and have some slip ups but this has been a life long event.  GOLD MEDAL

SEX.  Please, I am like the Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn, Apollo Ono of this one. I own the Olympics when this event comes into play.  I am the biggest star out there.  I finish, T finishes and we both finish in record time. (Shit is that good?)  GOLD Medal.

If I missed some events im sure T will let me know.