Monday, February 22, 2010

SEX.....Is it all Guys think about? Well YEAH!

So I am looking at this funny ass blog this morning Out-Numbered and he has a new post up.  This dude is funny. I like to think of myself as being funny but when I read this guys shit, I laugh more than a 8 year old saying the word penis. 

I went to his page this morning to see if he had blessed us with his words and sure as shit he had a new post up.  I thought his post was funny not because its funny bur because its true.  (You should now go read it and then come back)

I too have to get T to shave my back and shoulders and whatever else she is in the mood to shave. Ohhhhhh yeah, she is good with a razor.  So I sent an IM to T and told her to go read the new post on this guys blog.

Few minutes pass..............few more minutes.................and then..........

T sent me back and IM that said "Is that all you guys think about....SEX"

Where have you been T? And have you been listening to me over the last 10 years? 

That is all we I, well shit I am gonna take a leap out of the 1st story window and say that all men think about sex, pretty much all the time.  I also responded to T saying that the guy wanted to be shaved too.  T know that I am a sex craving maniac.  All the time, every night every day on the weekends and then again at night. 

Ok just to be fair about it, I know that T is busy all day and has kids hanging over her and she is tired at night.  So I am going to propose the following plan to her.

Monday is The Bachelor so I will give her a pass
Tuesday we watch the dvr'd 24 so I will give her a pass mean 1 thing....."Pants Off- Dance Off"
Thursday is Survivor so I will let it slide
Friday usually we have a date night and that mean we stay home......."Pants Off- Dance Off
Saturday we have nothing to do but watch the sun go down so that means only one thing "Pants Off- Dance Off"
Sunday we watch Amazing Race but we can fit another "Pants Off- Dance Off" session in

4 out of 7 nights.  I think that seems fair. And to make it even better and a plus for her, I will even suggest that we go on Dr. Oz's studied time frame that his show says all guys go by.  His show did a study that says men usually last from 3 to 7 minutes.  I like to think that I am closer to the 7 minutes but you might have to ask T, my clock runs slower during these moments.

So I think that this is a WIN / WIN for both of us.  I get the action 4 nights a week, and I get out of her hair (oh wow, that does not sound good....but I am leaving it) in record time.

See honey, you can tell by this post that I do not just think about sex.  I thought about you, your time, how hard your days are, Dr. Oz, our tv shows. 

So babe, give it some thought and let me know.......oh say by........Wednesday Night.



Nikki B. February 22, 2010 at 4:46 PM   Reply to

talk T into a hysterectomy when you're done having babies. my OB, who delivered all my kids, and we knew well, said this to jake, when he was talking to us in pre-op, "dude, you're gonna love me for this! she is gonna wear you out, once we get rid of this uterus!"

doc was hysterectomy, i'd wager that i think about the deed much more than jake does!!

Nikki B. February 22, 2010 at 4:46 PM   Reply to

and...that dude's blog is hysterical!

Scott S. February 22, 2010 at 4:49 PM   Reply to

That is so funny, my snip clip has done wonders so far. I never thought having a man cutting inside my sac would give me many happy returns...Nikki you are too funny. Tell Jake I am happy for him.

Jess February 22, 2010 at 6:20 PM   Reply to

So yeah, I almost fell outta my chair reading that guys post!! And I think your sex schedule sounds great!! Very considerate to your wife's needs.

Helene February 23, 2010 at 12:41 AM   Reply to

oooooh, now I gotta go check out this post you're referring to.

If Tim proposed we have sex 4 times a week, I'd give him money to see a hooker. That's just too much effort for me.

Merri Ann February 23, 2010 at 5:43 AM   Reply to

Saturday is COPS ... I'm just sayin'

Out-Numbered February 23, 2010 at 6:02 AM   Reply to

Dude. Thanks for the shout out. You ain't so bad yerself... Keep it comin'.

Rock on!

Tracy February 23, 2010 at 8:53 AM   Reply to

Wow. You actually thought about all this.

Well how about I come up with a schedule for you to help me when you come home.

Oh say

Mon- clean up kitchen
Tues-Help with Laundry
Wed- clean Carly's room
Thurs.- Clean the boys room
Fri- I will give you that night off. How nice of me, huh?
Sat- Laundry day.Grocery shopping. Family Movie/Game Night. And maybe I can work you in that night.
Sun-Oh gosh let that be a free night for you too. ;)

Now Helene has me thinking....hmmmm.

Tracy February 23, 2010 at 8:57 AM   Reply to

Oh I forgot to add pay bills, teach Carson, clean bathrooms to that list.

Oh and bath the kids, make b'fast,lunch and dinner too.

And you expect me to have time for sex 4 days a week.

Now thats fuckin' hilarious!

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