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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Underwear, Condoms and Socks

I realized something this morning.  I still have a problem getting rid of things that I no longer need.  As I got out of bed this morning (shorts on) I went into my top drawer and felt around for a nice soft pair of underwear.  A pair that would keep the twig and berries feeling good all day long.  Boxer briefs, man nothing better, a nice soft pair of boxer briefs to keep me feeling fine all throughout the day.  I grabbed a pair and did the morning routine.

I didnt pay any attention until I put the pair on and talc'ed myself.  I noticed that the talc was falling to my feet. It was a nice cool feeling.  Like the nice misty sprinkle on a hot summer day. But what was happening?  Did I miss the pocket?.  Did I miss talc myslef. So I looked down and saw 2 GIANT holes in the crotch. No wonder the talc got through.  Oh my.  What do I do?  Go with the air conditioned pair or get new ones?  I go get a new pair minus the holes.  Added more talc and got ready.

Why am I keeping these pairs of underwear?

I have no idea.  Easy access for T, shit I would just remove them.  Extra room for the stuff?  Do I just start going without?  Nah, don't want to scare the people on the street.

I am just going to get rid of every pair of underwear that has even 1 little hole in them.

Oh and why do I still have boxes, yes BOXES of condoms in the underwear drawer?

I had a vasectomy.  The ol clip and snip.  Shootin blanks.  Playin'  with an air rifle.  Why am I holding onto these things.  Should I go old school and put one in my wallet, like the old days and then look at it months and months later to realize that it never got used and expired?  Should I make water balloons for the kids?  Hand them out to kids at the bus stop?  Find ugly people and hand them to them? 

Wait, I know. I can give them to the the ladies at the cafeteria and they can use them as hair nets.  Maybe I can do my part to keep the pet population down and let the dogs have them.  Take them to a strip club, wait..can't do that.

Ahhhhhh.....A GIVEAWAY. I might be onto something.

Well for now, I will just let them sit in my underwear drawer.  They take up alot of the drawer.

Next item to get rid of, mis-matched socks and socks with holes.

What do I do with all of the unwanted socks?  Hmmmmm.

I know...
That has me thinking, why is my wrist hurting so bad?


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5 comments:

Amy O'Connor May 27, 2010 at 12:49 PM   Reply to

LMAO!!! You could always use the mis-matched socks for dusting furniture. The ones that have been only on your feet, that is!

Did you buy a whole case of condoms or something? I can't say that I've ever bought more than one box at a time.

Rachel May 27, 2010 at 7:14 PM   Reply to

I vote with giveaway...or handing it out to ugly people..smart move!

What in the hell are you doing with THAT many condoms??

Amanda May 27, 2010 at 7:43 PM   Reply to

omg, too funny!!! i vote the ugly people route. or a give away! haha

Elan May 27, 2010 at 10:27 PM   Reply to

hilarious! I sent u an email...

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