Thursday, June 24, 2010

Hairy Situation

I have a problem.

Sort of. Ok it's a BIG PROBLEM

See, I have to make a choice.

I work very long hours and get home late, try to spend as much time with the C's as I can before we get them into bed around 10:30 or 11 pm.

But......In the past few weeks, I have let myself go.
By letting myself go I mean that I haven't shave my body.
I am a hairy person and I hate hair on any other place on my body except my face and head.

It has gotten so bad that the other half of my "Pants Off - Dance Off" team has told me she wants no part of a performance until I am all cleaned up.

That mean, chest, back, arms and she even mentioned this weekend that my legs are too hairy now.  I don't mind this, in fact I love my body being clean but here is where my problem comes up.

Do I..

A.  Get home, rush right in and start the mulit-hour long process of shaving my body which includes her having to shave my back and neck?

B.  Stay up extra late after the C's go to sleep and start the hair removal and hope T stays up late enough to help me finish the JOB?

C.  Take donations from readers so I can go get waxed and scare the shit out of the girl like I did the last time I got waxed?  I guess new employee's dont want their first to have an afro all over the body!

D.  Abstain?  Uh....NO and NEVER.

So here is how the conversation goes between T and I

Me - Hey honey, can I have a kiss?

T - No, you haven't shaved!

Me - Come on baby

T - Get away from me!

Me - Want me to rub you?

T - No cause your gonna want to "Pants Off - Dance Off"!

Me - Yeah and?


T - You want "Pants Off - Dance Off" - Shave!

Damn it.  I need to shave, get waxed, laser hair removal, this Tom Selleck shit is hampering my my skills.



Erin June 24, 2010 at 4:28 PM   Reply to

Option C: But....Invest in your own waxing pot, so T can just do it for you! Then you don't have to scare strangers :)

0007 June 24, 2010 at 4:59 PM   Reply to

get a set of clippers and go at it with no guards...I can get it done in about 30 minutes that way ---sure its not a sleek as the razor, but to me razor clean is a waste of time becuase it takes too long to get it done, and it doesn't last long enough. Just use clippers and be careful--sometimes they snag...and it doesn't feel good....I feel your pain though...Its a lot of man-scaping and I hate having to do it..but not doing it is so much worse. I think I get most of the time it takes to accomplish the shaving back though? Wanna know when? Post swim/shower drying off--its so much faster when you're not like Wolverine!

passion4pink June 25, 2010 at 5:34 AM   Reply to

Hmmm I' ll check with my hairy brothers and get back to you on this one...hubby's not the real hairy type. He does manage to shave some hairy bits though.He rarely shaves his darn face lucky if it's maybe once a week.

Anonymous,  June 25, 2010 at 7:41 AM   Reply to

What about's lotion that you could just rub all over your body and then your hair just falls right off in the shower...

0007 June 25, 2010 at 11:20 AM   Reply to

Andrea: Let me tell you a little story:
There was this lady that took her pet doggie to the vet. Turns up the doggie had some kind of infection in his hears that would require shaving the insides of the ears monthly. At this, the lady said, "I can't shave INSIDE a dogs ears!." So the vet set her up with a trip to the pharmacist to get Nair. WHen she was ready to check out, her pharmacist noticed her purchase was out of character, so he advised:"If you're going to use this on your armpits, you won't be able to use deodorant for few days." To this she replied,"Its not for my armpits." "Okay", says the pharmacist, "if you use it on your legs, you're going to need to get some creames to follow up with." "It's not for my legs." "Then what are you getting this stuff for?" he askes. "Well, if you must know, its for my Schnauzer!" "In that case, you're not going to want to 'do the pants off-dance-off" for about a week!"
Point being: As nice as the idea of chemically burning off your entire body's worth of hair sounds nice, its really expensive and really harsh on your skin...its nice, I've done it, and the slickness is unmatched, but damn! you're all burned up!!!

Anonymous,  June 27, 2010 at 8:59 AM   Reply to

0007...LOVE LOVE LOVE that you have tried this...and you're right there is NOTHING like the slickness of Nair...Schnauzer...HA...that's a good one

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