Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Train Wreck TV...How The Bachelorette will help my C's in the future

The Bachelorette....What a train wreck.  ABC, you picked the worst group of guys EVER. 

While I am glad that my darling daughter is only 3, I do wish she was old enough to sit and watch this show with me so she could see what her future holds for her.  And my 3 sons, I would also like for them to see how NOT TO ACT when trying to find a girl to fall in love with.  Maybe I will get all of the episodes off the dvr and burn them and save them for the future.

Ali, she is no where close to my favorite Bachelorette's of all time who happen to be Deanna and Jillian.  This girl has a laugh that make me want to pull my nose hairs out with burning tweezers, but it is what it is and she is the woman of the season.  She has no sense about anything.  Look around at the guys Ali, they are all flakes, well most of them

Ok. Let's start with the good.  Roberto.  I like this guy.  A guys guy, an athlete, someone who you could hang with, doesn't seem to jump on the bandwagon of dogging the other dudes.  Had a great Lion King performance and sang into Ali's eye's and she bought every bit of it.  It is good that he won that because I am not sure if any of the others could have worn the diaper as well as him.  I told T, if the weatherman would have won that, his little ass would have needed a pull up.  Chris L., the birthday boy.  When she sent him the note to come to her room, I looked at T and said "If this dude is smart he will bring the chicken soup"  SCORE.  She loved the soup and it got her feeling better and they were off to have a nice night.  Kirk, this guy did a nice job being the sweet "your sick and you should be in bed" dude.  He got to go tuck her in and made her feel good.  But then he left.....

So Roberto, Kirk and Chris L are the only one's that seem to be ok.

Frank (I call him CRAZY EYE) gets weirded out when she is with someone else.  Hey shit head it's a dating show.  Don't you still have a girlfriend back home anyways?

The WeatherMan - Jonathan, your a sorry woman.  You cried again after she gave you the boot.  But even before that you were stressing about talking to her.  You went and TRIED to butt in when she was with someone else and they buzzed you away....Shew Fly Don't Bother Me.. The forecast for today....Cloudy with rain falling from your eyes and windy, blowing your ass out of the door. BYE BYE

Ok, now for my favorite part of the show.  Actually anytime that this guy is getting air time I LOVE IT. Only because I can't stop making fun of him and laughing at him.  Kasey.  (INSERT NASAL VOICE)  sings to her.  She laughed and spit her drink out.  He sings again.  She tell him basically, he is fake and he needs to get real.  Oh he is real alright.  REAL STUPID.  "Im here to shield and protect your heart"  SHUT UP!  Loser and your voice,  now every Monday I find myself talking like you and making fun of you.  So what does he do to prove his love?   He gets a tattoo!  YES!  With a shield, a heart, some crap about stones and a rose.  ALI HIDE THE KNIVES!

The kicker of it all is......SHE KEPT HIS SORRY F-ING ASS.

Oh and Ali, really, do you not care about anyone?  You are sick, but yet you continue on to KISS EVERYONE.  You kiss Roberto and then on to kiss Frank and then Kirk and so on and so on.  So next episode is everyone going to be sick?  Does that mean that Frank kissed Roberto and Kirk kissed both of them?

So bye bye to the WeatherMan - Jonathan and Jesse - the farm loving country boy.

Frank (crazy eye'd Chandler Bing look alike), Ty (wanna be country singer with the big ears), Justin (wrestling flake), Chris N (who),  Craig (lawyer), Kasey (future serial killer) are given Rose's along with my front runners....Roberto, Kirk, and Chris L.

So to my 3 sons, please don't ever get a tattoo over a woman.  Unless you are married for 10 years to the love of your life, like I am to your Mommy. I got your Mommy's name on my heart cause she is the love of my life. And for the love of god C1, C2, C4.....Know this....if you can't sing or play an instrument really well....DONT DO IT FOR THE GIRL.  C3, if you have some cheeseballs courting you...keep a gun close by, don't let them sing to you, and if they tell you they want to SHIELD AND PROTECT YOUR and get your brothers as fast as you can.

If  C1 were on a dating show, he would be the sweet sensitive one and the art and music lover and catering to the girls needs, doing whatever she wanted.  (like me)  C2, he is the tough, hard headed tell her like it is guy and if she doesn't like it then see ya. (like mommy)  C4, too early to tell, not really sure yet, maybe the kind that is always by her side, since he never want's to be away from mommy.  And C3 is she were on a show, oh shit...better watch out for her.  Demanding, loud and strong willed and hard headed.  She might throw a rose at the guy or stomp on it or she may even staple it to the guy, like on that beer comercial.

Thankfully I have many years to get them ready or get myself ready.



livinginbetween June 15, 2010 at 8:17 AM   Reply to

I agree with you that these are a sorry bunch, with the exception of the ones you pointed out -- Roberto, Chris, and that guy who actually told her to go to bed. Although, I liked what I saw of Jesse too. I missed an episode though, so I might have also missed his weirdness. I just want some of these guys to start acting like men instead of a bunch of whiner creeps. Scary!

Chels June 15, 2010 at 10:46 AM   Reply to

I haven't had the chance to watch the latest episode yet. But I agree with pretty much all your opinions. Most those guys are weenies. Especially the Weatherman. Well wait, he was more of a vagina. But you know, whatever. I tell my husband every episode that if Ali mindlessly giggles at one more thing I'm going to kick a puppy. Couldn't agree more with you there. Oh and Kasey, I haven't been able to take him seriously since day 1.

Kat June 15, 2010 at 10:50 AM   Reply to

I pretty much love hearing your man-interpretation! But don't lie, you love watching the show!

S.I.F. June 16, 2010 at 2:35 AM   Reply to

Oh Scott! I could not have said it better myself! I really and truly think the producers have a hand in Jonathan staying as long as he did, and now Kasey. It was just so obvious that she had absolutely zero interest in Kasey. I don't see any other reason why she would have possibly kept him other than the producers like how crazy get's ratings.

And when he told the guys how the 11 diamonds represented them?!? NO! That was just so weird!

And his on the fly lyrics were something a 3 year old would come up with. Actually, I bet your kids could do better in a heart beat.

I'm also pretty sure Jonathan is going to lose his job when he gets home. If he were my weatherman, I would switch news stations. That guy was the most pathetic dude I have seen in a LONG while.

This is easily one of the worst seasons in the entire series (I like Ali less and less every single week), but yet... I can't stop watching!

Chrissy June 16, 2010 at 8:02 AM   Reply to

This show is garbage, I don't care who is on it. It is NOT an example of how to find a spouse, and it is certainly not something I would EVER show my children, no matter how old they are. I have considered writing an entry about it (because I saw ONE episode with a friend...and it seriously made me fuming mad).

And I wonder why you deleted Josh's comment.

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