Wednesday, September 22, 2010

When all else fails, just laugh

So last night was a pretty uneventful night in This Daddy's house. (really its T's house, it just rent the space)  The only thing that went down was C4 taking the toilet paper for a spin last night and leaving a trail from the bathroom to the kitchen.  It was funny as shit (get it toilet paper and shit) but got no pic's or video proof.  So I will provide you some comedy relief today....Enjoy

Truths For Mature Humans

I was sent this list in an email from a buddy of mine in Texas, I was laughing so hard at some of them.  I added my own little comments to each of them.  Read and have fun and laugh a little.  (If you want the entire list email me and I will forward it to you)

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Ok, so now I need to find a best friend (other than T)
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
Damn it, this happens to me all the time

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
Not really, I don't like to nap

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Yes. And also for shooting the bird

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I don't try, I roll it in a ball

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
And sometimes it is still wrong!

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Yeah, maybe, not sure

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Never tired during the PO-DO

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
All the time!

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
It hits everyday

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
Classic, I love this

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
Its a method to F with your head

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
Shit, I always look good, it doesn't matter

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
For sure

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I think our freezer has one

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
Shit, those damn goggles get you every time

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
OR played the Too Short song "The Ghetto" when you drive through it

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
Hear that T, load up the bags

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
Not anymore in GawGa, its against the law to drive and text

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
I just walk away instead

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
I do this everyday

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I wear the same shorts every day of the week

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Am I really that stupid, since I do this too

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time !
Except this morning at 6 am, when I hit a button and my phone called the last number to call me.
Sorry Triple 0007, I hope the 5 am call didn't wake you, I noticed it rang for 5 seconds on my end.




Erin September 22, 2010 at 10:26 AM   Reply to

I think that all of these apply to me. Does that make me stupid? I think that I want to steal this and put it on my blog, I loved it that much! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Shannon K. September 22, 2010 at 10:32 AM   Reply to

These are perfect for me. The do not wash or tumble dry just gets ignored by me. Same with dry clean only. And don't start me on jeans. I wear those bad boys like 10 times in a row! But don't tell anyone.

Helene September 22, 2010 at 12:34 PM   Reply to

I soooo do the looking at my watch thing repeatedly too. It's like it doesn't register or something.

The one about Miller Lite and Kay were classic!!!

Merrie September 22, 2010 at 2:22 PM   Reply to

These are great! I may have to repost this!

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