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Thursday, November 18, 2010

No Sex in the Champagne Room....or the master bedroom room..

Or the guest room, or anywhere....Gosh Darn it....(remember no cursing)

To ****block is to prevent someone, intentionally or inadvertently, from having sex with another person.

As many of you know I love to blog about the intimacy of my awesome wife and I.  I'm not shy about it.  I don't care who knows that we do the Pants Off - Dance Off (PO-DO) all the time.  I mean why would I?  She rocks my socks.  My T, knows how to treat her man. But lately we, or shall I say I have had a problem in that department. 

Stop laughing people the problem is not with me!  Trust me, I have NO problem.

The problem is that my kids are becoming a major..............

See the kids don't go to sleep till later anyways.  And then you have to remember that I have to work the mood.  A little romance, some candles, shave the body, oil myself up.....you know looking good.  I can't give T just any ol night of the goods, I have to make sure the goods are GOOD.  Really I just mean I have to give T the over the top massage.

So, the first battle, get the kids to bed.  That means, C1 who is the midnight snacker has to somehow fall out before I do.  That means that C3, who likes to make her way to our bed, falls out quickly in our bed so I can move her back to her bed.  Then the hardest blocker to beat is C4.  The breast feeder.  The snuggler.  The one who when T's body moves away from his, he starts to flip flop around the bed.  How can a soon to be 18 month old be such a master of the
But trust me his is the best in the bizz.

So not only and I being blocked by one C, I have three C's trying to make sure that daddy gets
NOTHING

Now in the C's defense, they don't know that they are being a
But they are.

So I now have to come up with a game plan, cause this is not how I roll.  Maybe I could just stay up later, but then that means I have to try and keep T up, cause Im already UP....Get it?   Yeah.. Lets move on.

  Dag nabit!!! (remember I am not cursing anymore)

I am going to figure out how to beat this.  Ohhhhhh K.  That didn't sound good, and I am leaving it in since it is funny.  But that is not what I am talking about...

T and I are going to have the last laugh, well as long as we are both laughing and it's not just her laughing, that would be bad for my self esteem.

So to my three C's, guess what little one's?  There is a new sheriff in town. (Ok just so you know, we don't dress up)  

And that means NO MORE

Trust me C's, when you are older I will explain all of this to you.  Well not you C3.

KISS THE BABY


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5 comments:

A Daddy Blog November 18, 2010 at 7:04 PM   Reply to

This is the reply I just left on your comment on my blog. I think the first time I met you, Scott, I said you had “a great voice”… now I haven’t heard you talk… so I’m talking about your writing style. It’s waaaay different from my rather buttoned up (read: anal) style of communicating my points, but between us I think we communicate the depth (don't go there) and breadth of fatherhood pretty well. And dag nabit (I’m not swearing either) all of us guys together have tons of stuff to learn from each other. Thanks for the kind words. And good luck tonight, if you know what I mean… and I know you do.

Elan November 19, 2010 at 6:47 PM   Reply to
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elan November 19, 2010 at 6:49 PM   Reply to

what i meant to say was, HA! how the *heck* did you find some may ****block images... well done

Maranda December 4, 2010 at 7:02 PM   Reply to

ROFLMFAO! See...this is just one of the many reasons why I read your blog. ;-)

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