Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
And now for the better.
C1 has let T know that he is going to live with her (us) until T grows up! He is going to have 4 kids like us. He is going to stay close to his brothers and sister. He let us know this last night while he was having his mommy time. C3. She let us know that she was going to have babies? I told her NOT SO FAST! She told me that she wanted to get married where T and I got married so she could have a ring on her finger. NOT SO FAST! C2 and C4 were fast asleep. But I also learned over the weekend what the kids what to do when they get older.
C1 - Wants to be a collector. Yeah of Toy Story stuff. We'll talk about it later.
C2 - He wants to make the food that people eat at Micky D's. No need to talk later. Not happening
C3 - She is going to be a puppet. Yeah...NO! No daughter of mine is going to be a puppet.
C4 - Thoughts still in progress.
I only hope to grow old and gray with T so we can see some of this come true.
Monday, June 28, 2010
After we left there we decided to go stroll around IKEA and look at all the shit for awhile. We looked at some big girl beds for C3 which she decided to try out and I wish I would have had the camera with me cause she was in every bed. It was funny.
The kids decided to give their puppets makeovers when we got home. C1 added a hat to his bald puppet making it Woody, and C3 decided to cut the curls off her and put a red hat on it to make it Jesse. C2 left his as Mario. But the kids played with the puppets all weekend and they lasted longer than I thought they would.
Man and I can't forget to mention the most awesome dinner T fixed last night. Steak, corn on the cob, and smooth creamy mashed potatoes. And the veggie that I love to eat but can never remember what its called. It has pieces that you can break off and dip in butter and suck the ends. Yeah those. I dont know. T knows.
I put in for my vacation time today. Yeah. 60 days till DISNEY WORLD.
Now time for another week of craziness. Let's see what can and will happen.
Friday, June 25, 2010
FRIDAYS FINAL THOUGHTS
Well another week is almost done. What a week it has been.
From my wife saving the day at the dentist office to me airing out my dirty laundry that I was once a male cheerleader. Shit, lets forget that one though. Oh how can I forget that I also got pee'd on. Still haven't shaved yet, it happens tonight for sure.
Well I have to admit here while it is nice that people come and read the blog, I find it hard to follow through on the re - handing out of the awards I recieve from some of you readers. I can sit and write and goof on myself and talk about my struggles as a dad and how I try to be a better husband so T doesn't kick my ass all the time, but when it comes time to post about the awards and pass them back out, I freeze up.
Looky here, a blogger that I have followed since I began doing this is Robin and she gave me 2 awards that I still have not passed on, and this week Lauren a new reader, Rachel, and Tayarra all gave me awards that I still have not completed. Damn, I know I am that awesome but I am starting to feel alot like Lebron James, ya know, I can win all these awards but can't win the Finals. Oh and hey, why have I never gotten any awards from other cool ass dad bloggers. You know why? Cause us dads don't follow through on shit like that. We care about talking shit, and making fun and we dont make pretty little buttons and pass them around. The closest I will get to making buttons and passing them out is sitting down to pee (which I already admitted to doing), shaving my entire body (oh feels good) and my brief (head down) male cheerleading stint (stop judging me). There....sorry to you ladies for not following through, now you know how T feels.
Ok so here are some thoughts that are just pouring out of my ears, eyes and nose on this hot and humid but awesome Friday.
Parents' brawl cancels kindergarten graduation in California (from USA Today). Ok even I am not that much of an asshole. Read ths story here
Mass. school district to distribute condoms to any age student (from USA Today). OK, I see this is Provincetown, Mass. way of cutting down crime in the youth. Give em' rubbers. Get the kids away from video games and tv's - Give em' rubbers! Just another reason to homeschool. I don't think T will be giving the kids condoms.
T made these great muffins last night, I ate 3 of them around midnight after the NBA Draft
Organic Cinnamon Muffins
Thanks honey these things ROCKED
Do you know the Muffin Man the Muffin Man the Muffin, Do you know the Muffin Man
sing it with me
And I think this weekend we are going to try and take the kids to the ATL Puppet Center, so that should be fun and we might make our weekly swimming trip. Oh and yard work and fix the fence and maybe, just maybe I will be able to get my fat ass up and start over on my workouts.
And for the second week in a row My Little Life has some questions that a dude can answer on the FQF post, which is leading me to believe more and more that.....
.....Just like James Brown sang "It's A Mans World"
1. Do you know how to play a musical instrument? See that is an open ended question. I know how to play some instruments, but I have no idea of how to play them correctly. I can play a mean pots and pans and thats about it.
So really the answer is NO
2. What is your pet peeve while driving? OH, putting on make up. Driving slow and talking on your phone. Stupid Ass' texting while you drive.
3. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services? My selfish answer would be to have unlimited spa services. Shit getting rubbed and waxed and groomed, damn I would look good and T would be all over me. She would never ever say to me "Get away you hairy"
The right answer is to have a housekeeper. It would allow us / me more time to spend with the kids doing things together instead of having to do laundry and dusting and cleaning.
4. Is there a song that you hear that will take you back to the moment, like a junior high or high school dance? Oh yeah for sure. Both of these songs take me back to the weekend I met T in Panama City at Harpoons Harrys. Sweet Home Alabama and our first dance to Summer of 69'.
5. What song best represents your life right now? Just cause I struggle everyday trying to NOT be negative and I try everyday NOT to be an asshole to my wife and kids, I try to get that OLD ME and put him in the garbage. This is an everyday battle, cause I always seems to do the same shit.
TI and Justin Timberlakes "Dead and Gone"
It seems no matter how good I do, I am gonna have that day or night where I just fuck it up and I have to start all over again. Like last night I was an asshole to T and C3. Just lost my cool and yelled at one and made a smartass comment to the other. So today I begin all over.
Now I get it now I take
Time to think,
before I make mistakes
just for my familys sake
That part of me left yesterday
the heart of me is strong today
No regrets im blessed to say
the old me dead and gone away.
I turn my head to the east
I dont see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the west
still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the north,
swallow that pill
that they call pride
The old me is dead and gone,
the new me will be alright
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sort of. Ok it's a BIG PROBLEM
See, I have to make a choice.
I work very long hours and get home late, try to spend as much time with the C's as I can before we get them into bed around 10:30 or 11 pm.
But......In the past few weeks, I have let myself go.
By letting myself go I mean that I haven't shave my body.
I am a hairy person and I hate hair on any other place on my body except my face and head.
It has gotten so bad that the other half of my "Pants Off - Dance Off" team has told me she wants no part of a performance until I am all cleaned up.
That mean, chest, back, arms and she even mentioned this weekend that my legs are too hairy now. I don't mind this, in fact I love my body being clean but here is where my problem comes up.
A. Get home, rush right in and start the mulit-hour long process of shaving my body which includes her having to shave my back and neck?
B. Stay up extra late after the C's go to sleep and start the hair removal and hope T stays up late enough to help me finish the JOB?
C. Take donations from readers so I can go get waxed and scare the shit out of the girl like I did the last time I got waxed? I guess new employee's dont want their first to have an afro all over the body!
D. Abstain? Uh....NO and NEVER.
So here is how the conversation goes between T and I
Me - Hey honey, can I have a kiss?
T - No, you haven't shaved!
Me - Come on baby
T - Get away from me!
Me - Want me to rub you?
T - No cause your gonna want to "Pants Off - Dance Off"!
Me - Yeah and?
T - YOU HAVEN'T SHAVED and YOUR NASTY AND HAIRY
T - You want "Pants Off - Dance Off" - Shave!
Damn it. I need to shave, get waxed, laser hair removal, this Tom Selleck shit is hampering my my skills.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
What's that saying? Get on fore you get spit on? I don't know, that is just what some of the wonderful people whose cars we are trying to repo tell me on the phone before they hang up on me. That is probably one of the nicer things they say anyways. Well due to last nights events I am going to change that little saying to "GET ON FORE YOU GET PEE'D ON" That's right this morning I woke up at my regularly scheduled time to get ready for work and we had 2 extra kids in the bed. C2, who sometimes makes his way to our bed was curled up in a ball at the end of the bed like a puppy and C3, my little princess was curled up next to me.
Sweating? Yeah that happens because for some reason no matter how hot it is, I have to sleep with covers. So I thought I was just sweating. I reached to move the little princess and "OH Mutha-Fer" "C3, go change your panties and go pee" Yeah I got pee'd on. Don't know when it happened, but I slept good last night and I don't even remember her climbing into bed. I did the normal routine of having her sleep pee before I put her in her bed, but then since I didn't know she was in our bed, I missed the middle of the night sleep walking pee. So maybe in her own crazy little way, C3 was telling me to...
Monday, June 21, 2010
Today we took the kids to the childrens dentist so C1 and C2 could get their teeth cleaned and checked out. Well everything is fine with them and their teeth looked great and C3 and C4 sat in the waiting room for them. Well there one a period where T and C1 and C2 were out there waiting to go back and there was another little boy. A little boy who minutes before was talking to me, C3 and C4 about Toy Story and Buzz and Woody. Then he went back to the an exam room.
A few moments later when we were all sitting there, the little boy and his guardian (not sure if mom or grandmom) was talking to the ladies at the desk and in a flash out the door went the boy. Ok to make it worse, out the door is a parking lot.
T yelled, "That boy just ran out the door" and she went for the door and after her went the guardian and someone else who worked there. T was the only one to say anything and the only parent to get up and do something. He motherly instincts took over and as soon as the boy darted for the door, she spoke up and got to her feet and went after the boy.
T came back inside and said that the boy was outside hiding behind someones car. When he came back in, you could tell that he did not want to be in the dentist office and he was scared. This was the same boy that 5 minutes ago was sharing with me and the kids how much he loved Buzz and Woody. T said that she could hear him crying behind the door when the boys were getting their teeth cleaned and we both felt sick for the boy.
I know T hates sometime when all I do is talk so good about her and give her praise and say how wonderful she is, but today proved me right once again. T has a quick tongue and is ready to tell anyone what she thinks good or bad, but this morning I and the parents and or guardians of the little boy are also glad that T has a big mouth and speaks up......When no one else did.
Love you babe, your awesome.
I always wish the weekends were longer. I really do. It never seems as if there is enough time to spend with T and the C's. I mean we are always together, but it just passes so fast.
We were at the pool yesterday and I am amazed at how good the kids are swimming now after this years swimming lessons. Man we had such a good time yesterday, the C's and T got me a cookie cake that we DESTROYED, it was so good.
Thank you T and the C's for the AWESOME cookie cake, I am glad that we could all enjoy it.
We did have fun swimming and now that the LITTLE MERMAID C3 is swimming without her floaty wings she will not stop jumping off the diving board with C1 and she loves to go under and get the diving rings.
The kids love the pool!
Here is another quick shot of C3 acting out an old tv show T told the kids about. Some Robot show when a little girl was the robot. Oh yeah its Vicki the Robot, it was escaping my mind
And C1 made this for me out of our little jalapeno and our extrta little onions that we are growing in our garden. They may not be big but the onions smelled and tasted great.
Thanks to everyone that wished me a Happy Fathers Day, I had a very nice day and I hope all the other dads did as well
Saturday, June 19, 2010
What is Fathers Day?
Everyone has thoughts of Fathers Day and they are all different. Some may think that going out and having a day to themselves is awesome, some may think that staying at home and doing nothing is the best, but me, I like to have a normal day of doing everything I usually do.
Some laundry, yeah I have a little left to finish up, some outside work, yeah I need to fix our fence, brushing the kids teeth and doing some bitching and moaning and turning down the chance to change a shitty diaper, that is all what I have planned for tomorrow. I mean isn't that what me being a dad is all about anyways? I love being yelled at by my kids and waiting to get hit in the nuts and having my glasses ripped off my face. I love waking up in the morning in a spot of pee from one of the kids. Wiping ass' and cleaning up spills and everything else, I just love it.
Being a dad is great. I love being a dad. I may not be a dad of the year, well take that back....I am the dad of the year every year to my C's and that is what matters most. I think about being a dad each and every day and how happy I am to be the father of.............
C1. A 6 yr old, blonde haired, blue eyed and a little version of me in the sense that he is a funny funny boy, who can take over the room with his stand up material.
C2. A 5 yr old with long locks of brown hair and deep brown eyes. He has my ability to be a very frustrating child and then turn that into complete sweet love.
C3. My 3 yr old little princess, with brown hair and blue eyes. A small version of her mother, which is why she has daddy wrapped around not one finger but all of them.
C4. My 1 yr old with the brown and blue combo and he is exactly like me in the fashion that he can't stand to be away from his mommy and she is the one that I love the most too.
I love being a Father for some many reasons and I don't think I could name them all. I always knew I wanted to be a dad from the days of my Aunt and Uncle having foster children and me playing with them, to the day of me working in the daycares and even the days of working in the school system in Fl. I if had to give anything up in my life, I know the one thing I would never give up is being a dad.
And now I need to give a little credit where credit is due.
I grew up with some great roles models in my life and they all happened to be dads. First my POP-POP, a great man who loved me and took care of me when I was very little. My Granddaddy who accepted me from day one and always had time for me when I called him. My Uncle Buzz, who always made sure his house was my house.
I did indeed save the BEST for last. My dad. This man came into my life and had an instant impact. A Military man, who is the smartest man around. A man who did so much for me growing up. I mean he taught me right from wrong and he must have done a good job because I never got in trouble and I was always respectful to others. My dad has never stopped giving himself to me and he is still there to lend a helping hand no matter what the need. I knew growing up that I wanted to be just like him and I set goals to be like him.
Now my father, like I said is one smart s.o.b. He is a lawyer. Am I that smart? Hell NO! He is great at math, am I? Hell NO! He keeps up with everything, writes it all down stores it away, I can't remember or find something from yesterday. My dad is a runner, he can run for miles and miles, my fat ass cant make a mile anymore. Now my dad and I are alot alike in many ways. Neither of us can fix our own shit, we are both married to women that keep us in line, and we can both cook, he just does it more than I do.
Now where I might have fallen short on my goals to be like my dad a smart lawyer type, I have done the one thing in my life that he did the best and to me that is the ultimate goal
I am a dad and a GREAT one at that.
To T, thanks for making me a father almost 7 years ago. It is the best gift you have ever given me and I get to live with the gift every minute.
And to my dad. Happy Fathers Day. I love you and you are awesome and I would'nt be the Father I am today without you.
Friday, June 18, 2010
So we all know what this weekend is such a huge weekend. There is something so BIG and so HUGE and us as parents all know that our kids are going to celebrate it....
Am I talking about Fathers Day?
TOY STORY 3
It is in my house.
The kids have been aware that this movie was coming out for the longest time now. C1 has even written June 18th on every piece of paper he has.
We are going to take the kids to see this movie, just not this weekend.
Maybe we will take the kids swimming this weekend, so I can work on my tan. That sounds good. Man that means I need to shave my body. I have let myself go again. Arm hair is visable, chest hair and back hair is poking through the shirt, and facial hair is scruffy again. I do this thing at the pool when I sit there and pull my shorts up really high so the tops of my legs can get some sun which leads T to say
"Pull your shorts down"
Ok, most of the time the questions that are on this next thing are really girly, and I know that I can be girly sometimes (evidence is I pee sitting down sometimes- dont judge) but the questions seemed to be ok today so I thought I would take part in
1. What is your favorite thing about summertime?
The heat. I love the sun and don't really mind how hot it gets. It does get hot but I lived in Texas for so long and the Ga. heat doesn't even compare. Another thing I love is going to the pool with the kids. The kids Aunt Bing Bing and Uncle Nolen have a great pool and the kids are awesome swimmers and we love going over there.
2. What is your ideal retirement location (if money didn't matter)?
I guess the answer to this would be Florida. Doesn't every old blue hair, snow bird, whatever the hell you want to call them retire in Florida. Get a small home with little or no yard, shit some of the yards are even pebble yards. Yeah I guess Florida or even Texas. It has to be somewhere that the kids will want to come visit and or take care of us (me really)
3. Do you live in the same town you grew up in?
No. I was (probably still am - the brat part) a Military Brat. I moved all over the place. Every three years or so, we would pack up and move. I was lucky enough to stay in the same place for all of middle school (Germany) and then stay in the same place for high school (Virginia)
4. What nervous habit did you have as a child that you kicked to the curb before becoming an adult?
I am not really sure. I still bite my nails, I still bite my lip, I still scratch my balls, I really am not sure. I have stopped shitting my pants but that may have not been a nervous habit, just something I did.
5. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you while on the job?
Ok, well in Tx, T and I went out to eat lunch. We went to this place that we always went to. I got the best bowl of nasty monster hot chili. So good! T was taking this diet pill Xenacal. (the little blue pill that made you shit out every drop of grease and oil that is in your body) T told me, looked right in my eyes and told me "DONT FART or you will leak" Ok back at the Ford dealership I was working at and I sold a very nice Expedition (tan interior) I went around to get it from the wash area and deliver it to the guy and what did I do
I didnt even realize what had happened till the guy gets ready to get in and see's a big oil spot on his seat. (YEP, from my ass) He wiped it with his hand and said the wash crew must have eft some cleaning stuff on the seat.
He left, I then went to the bathroom to check my pants and sure enough, I did exactly what T told me not to do.I farted and leaked oil out of my ass and through my underwear and through my pants.
Yeah. No more Xenacal ever.
Have a great Friday
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Bachelorette....What a train wreck. ABC, you picked the worst group of guys EVER.
While I am glad that my darling daughter is only 3, I do wish she was old enough to sit and watch this show with me so she could see what her future holds for her. And my 3 sons, I would also like for them to see how NOT TO ACT when trying to find a girl to fall in love with. Maybe I will get all of the episodes off the dvr and burn them and save them for the future.
Ali, she is no where close to my favorite Bachelorette's of all time who happen to be Deanna and Jillian. This girl has a laugh that make me want to pull my nose hairs out with burning tweezers, but it is what it is and she is the woman of the season. She has no sense about anything. Look around at the guys Ali, they are all flakes, well most of them
Ok. Let's start with the good. Roberto. I like this guy. A guys guy, an athlete, someone who you could hang with, doesn't seem to jump on the bandwagon of dogging the other dudes. Had a great Lion King performance and sang into Ali's eye's and she bought every bit of it. It is good that he won that because I am not sure if any of the others could have worn the diaper as well as him. I told T, if the weatherman would have won that, his little ass would have needed a pull up. Chris L., the birthday boy. When she sent him the note to come to her room, I looked at T and said "If this dude is smart he will bring the chicken soup" SCORE. She loved the soup and it got her feeling better and they were off to have a nice night. Kirk, this guy did a nice job being the sweet "your sick and you should be in bed" dude. He got to go tuck her in and made her feel good. But then he left.....
So Roberto, Kirk and Chris L are the only one's that seem to be ok.
Frank (I call him CRAZY EYE) gets weirded out when she is with someone else. Hey shit head it's a dating show. Don't you still have a girlfriend back home anyways?
The WeatherMan - Jonathan, your a sorry woman. You cried again after she gave you the boot. But even before that you were stressing about talking to her. You went and TRIED to butt in when she was with someone else and they buzzed you away....Shew Fly Don't Bother Me.. The forecast for today....Cloudy with rain falling from your eyes and windy, blowing your ass out of the door. BYE BYE
Ok, now for my favorite part of the show. Actually anytime that this guy is getting air time I LOVE IT. Only because I can't stop making fun of him and laughing at him. Kasey. (INSERT NASAL VOICE) sings to her. She laughed and spit her drink out. He sings again. She tell him basically, he is fake and he needs to get real. Oh he is real alright. REAL STUPID. "Im here to shield and protect your heart" SHUT UP! Loser and your voice, now every Monday I find myself talking like you and making fun of you. So what does he do to prove his love? He gets a tattoo! YES! With a shield, a heart, some crap about stones and a rose. ALI HIDE THE KNIVES!
The kicker of it all is......SHE KEPT HIS SORRY F-ING ASS.
Oh and Ali, really, do you not care about anyone? You are sick, but yet you continue on to KISS EVERYONE. You kiss Roberto and then on to kiss Frank and then Kirk and so on and so on. So next episode is everyone going to be sick? Does that mean that Frank kissed Roberto and Kirk kissed both of them?
So bye bye to the WeatherMan - Jonathan and Jesse - the farm loving country boy.
Frank (crazy eye'd Chandler Bing look alike), Ty (wanna be country singer with the big ears), Justin (wrestling flake), Chris N (who), Craig (lawyer), Kasey (future serial killer) are given Rose's along with my front runners....Roberto, Kirk, and Chris L.
So to my 3 sons, please don't ever get a tattoo over a woman. Unless you are married for 10 years to the love of your life, like I am to your Mommy. I got your Mommy's name on my heart cause she is the love of my life. And for the love of god C1, C2, C4.....Know this....if you can't sing or play an instrument really well....DONT DO IT FOR THE GIRL. C3, if you have some cheeseballs courting you...keep a gun close by, don't let them sing to you, and if they tell you they want to SHIELD AND PROTECT YOUR HEART.....run and get your brothers as fast as you can.
If C1 were on a dating show, he would be the sweet sensitive one and the art and music lover and catering to the girls needs, doing whatever she wanted. (like me) C2, he is the tough, hard headed tell her like it is guy and if she doesn't like it then see ya. (like mommy) C4, too early to tell, not really sure yet, maybe the kind that is always by her side, since he never want's to be away from mommy. And C3 is she were on a show, oh shit...better watch out for her. Demanding, loud and strong willed and hard headed. She might throw a rose at the guy or stomp on it or she may even staple it to the guy, like on that beer comercial.
Thankfully I have many years to get them ready or get myself ready.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Call me MR. Install. This weekend we went over to T's Mom's new house and I put in her new above range microwave and her dishwasher. I also learned how to set up and wire a new plug outlet for the first time. Everything works and looks good, NO fires (yet), and NO floods (yet).
So now that it is in, I don't have to go outside anymore to clean shitty diapers. I can stay in our bathroom and be covered by the smell of a 1 yr olds nasty ass diaper and get splattered by little pieces of shit that may come flying off of said diaper.
The kids finished up swim lessons on Friday and another year completed and C1 basically just had to fine tune some things and get better and stronger with the main freestyle stroke. C2 did really well and loved it and now he can swim without any floatation device attached to him. C3 watched and felt like she was doing the lessons so Im sure she feel like she is a better swimmer and C4 well, he is a floater.
So swim lessons went great. Thanks to Ms. Lindy again for another great year of lessons. They kids really like you and listen and they have learned alot. Thanks to Aunt Bing Bing and Uncle Nolen for the use of the pool. The kids love to swim and they love pool days.
The garden we started is doing ok. Our Onions are not looking so good, our Cumcumbers I am not so sure about, there are just some long vines and no Cucumber yet, our Onion Chives, not there, our Cilantro, is growing but not sure how good, it smells great, like Cilantro but doesn't look great, the Cheyene peppers, who the hell knows, but one thing is for sure I sure do have a big..................
Friday, June 11, 2010