You know I have those days when I feel like a complete loser. It is so hard for me to even admit that. I mean if you know me, or have ever talked to me, hell if you read this blog you know I am a huge trash talker. I am big on myself. I think I am the king of all kings and I am better than anyone else. Really, I feel like that. You are not better than me. I can run faster than you. Better at basketball than you. I am awesome in the sack (another time and place). I mean I am like James Brown, just gotta jump back and kiss myself.
But recently one of my C's, C1 the one who I would never expect it from, has been giving me a hard time. He doesn't want to have snack at snack time and he doesn't want me to brush his teeth and he doesn't want to get into bed when its time. I think I even said to T, that C1 is giving me such a hard time and it is frustrating. I know it is something I can change but it drives me nuts that he is acting like this.
Out of all my boys he is being such a little *&^@ to me and it pisses me off.
Well Yesterday I got up and decided to try and make it to work. I left before the kids were up. Like usual. But I think he may have thought I was staying home again. Well when T called me to check on the drive in, she said that he was sad that I wasn't at home and he was crying in his room, and he didn't want to talk to me on the phone.
Then I got a call from my Big Buddy C1. He had tears in his eyes and I could tell he was crying. He told me he missed me and asked why I had to go to work and said he was sad. He was in his room all by himself talking to me. I explained to him that I had to make a decision and it was a hard one, to go to work. I told him I loved him and we would spend some time together when I got home. It was by far the hardest phone call I have had to take. It sucked. Sucked real bad. I wanted to cry. I hate hearing my kids cry like that. He was crying for me like he really missed me and it was hard to hear, being that I could have stayed home and I didn't. I didn't want him to think I was tired of being at home, I just felt like I had to go back to work.
So I got home and C1 was happy to see me. He said he was happier to see me than he was happier to play his DS. He didn't stop playing when I got home, but him saying it was enough for me. I asked him if he wanted to come into my room after everyone was asleep and he did. We talked about some stuff and he asked me some questions about work and we talked about our sick dog. He was full of questions yesterday. T said he was asking all kinds of stuff.
He spent time with me and then went off to bed.
At least I know he went off to bed in a good mood.
Getting that call with C1 crying was tough. But it let me know that I am doing a good job as a daddy. If I was this big AHole like I always think I am, then my kids wouldn't want me there. And it also let me know that C1 even though he is being tough with me sometime is still my Big Buddy. Damn I hate my kids growing up and I am going to take more time with them being as that I am hardly at home.
See parenting is weird like that. And I learn something everyday. My kids are going to do things that make me shake my head and wonder what they are doing. But at the end of the day, they are kids. So he doesn't want snack when I fix it. OK, leave it there. So he doesn't want to brush his teeth. OK, do it later. He doesn't want to go to bed, OK, he will be tired tomorrow. Its OK. I learned even though I may think my boy is not wanting ME, he actually does NEED ME.
So, I am NOT a loser, I am still better than you and I am still going to talk trash.
So with all that said. Please give me more snow days so I can stay at home with the kids.
NAUGHTY LITTLE STAMPS/