Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Im about to rewrite the script on my life

The past two days I have had so much trouble writing a post. I love my blog. But I have been in a place that has had me writing, deleting and rewriting and then deleting everything I have written. Why? Because it has been nothing but NEGATIVE. So I finally figured out a way to get it all out. And I’m hoping that this is going to be the end of a few demons that are circling around me. I am going to get the life size toilet snake and unclog my life.

Do you believe in such things a "Products of Environment"? Yes I do. But I think because the person (ME) may not be strong enough to make the right choice. A follower and not a leader. This sucks because I think of myself as a strong person sometimes and I do think of myself as a leader. But for a long time I have been in a place that is very negative and it has wrapped me up like a cocoon. I yes, saying I am allowing this to disrupt my home life. It is going to change and in a huge way.

Do you think that you can turn into something just because you are always around it? Yes, this is me too. I fall into this category. I didn’t used to be like this. I was always the funny clown, happy go lucky character. Now I am a huge A-hole. And again I allow myself to be like this. I am around it all day long and just because my certain place allows me to be like that doesn’t mean I have to be one and most of all be one at home.

Are you strong enough to take on things directly that get in your way or do you need to let it keep hitting you and then you find a way around it? Well, I am finding out that I have not been strong enough to handle things in a head on manner. Cause if I was, then I would have done something a long time ago, instead of just sitting still and taking what I am taking. I can do much better for myself and my family and even if I have to go around it, over it, under it or even trick it, I am getting around this wall called misery.

Asking other for help. Is it a sign of weakness or a sign of maturity? I used to think it was a sign of weakness. But learning and reading and discovering things have shown and taught me that asking for help is ok. It is a sign of maturity. Do I sit around and wonder what I do, or ask for help? Ask for help. Yeah. Where I am at right now in my life with everything, trust me...You..yes You might be getting a call or email and I may be asking you for some kind of help. Any of you. Be ready.

Know when to say "Enough is Enough" and getting off your ass to do something about a problem you are having.  Just when I think things can’t get worse, they do. Just when I think things can’t get any lower or any more disgusting and repulsive, they do. Last week I reached my boiling point. Actually it was like the 100, 000, 000, 000 th time I have reached my boiling point. But now I am getting off my ass and doing something about it.

All of these things I mentioned above are things I have dealt with in the past, present and I want to change myself so I know how to handle this stuff in the future.

I am tired of always complaining and not doing anything about it. T is tired of me complaining and sitting on my ass waiting for something to fall in my lap. I’m tired of excuses. I’m tired of not searching and seeing if there is an avenue out there that will get me and my family on a track to success.

A huge Thank You goes out to T who has so much patience to deal with my Man Periods. These Man Periods are going to be a thing of the past. I love you honey more than anything in the world and know you are by my side no matter what.

Coming Soon....Changes!!!




The Zany Housewife January 18, 2011 at 9:07 PM   Reply to

Good for you on getting proactive! Good luck!

Daria @ Mom in Management January 19, 2011 at 6:28 PM   Reply to

Love it! I too have been stuck. Mine is at work. I like some aspects of my job, but it isn't using my talents to their best purpose and certainly isn't something I am excited to get up and go to work for... but I have a good salary and things "should" be fine, so I feel guilty complaining or being negative.

I too have vowed to update my resume and start doing something about it. We'll see!

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