Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Pack it up..Pack it in..Let me begin..

You know how you just get some of your fathers gifts in life...Well, I didn't get his lawyerish (my word) smarts, I didn't get his ability to run mile after mile, I didn't get his math skills (I have T for this)or his awesome ability to pay bills on time (I have T for this too), but what I did get was the gift of being just a tad bit on the anal side. Now being like this is not a bad thing, until I start to get on my wife's nerves. Then I get looks, head shakes, and more looks.

So with vacation coming up that means we have tons to do. Actually that means T has tons to do. I sit on my ass all day and she has to pack her stuff, my stuff, and 4 kids things. Also getting food and snacks and whatever else we needs to last us the week at the beach.  Now while she will pack all of my shit for me into the suitcase, one thing she probably wont do is actually get all of my shit together. The reason for this is that I will more than likely...

A. Complain
B. Not like what she packed
C. Not have what I need or want
D. Act like such a jerk that she will leave all my shit at home
E. All of the above.

So this Sunday I got a note pad and pen and as I started gathering the clothes that I need to pack. I keep thinking about how many days, how many nights, are we eating out, we will be in Savannah for half a day, will I hit the gym there, all of this is playing out in my (small) brain. T couldn't believe I was actually writing this down.

So that is proof. I did make a list and I still cant figure out if I have enough. I do this every time we go on vacation and it never fails, I NEVER wear everything. I wear some stuff twice. We go to Disney, I pack it all, and never wear half of it.

So this is what I have so far. For eight days...I have 4 pair of nice cotton shorts, 3 pair of nice nice shorts, 3 pair of shorts to sleep in, 2 pair swim shorts, 4 beaters, 2 pair socks, 5 pair boxer briefs, 3 pair extra shorts, 2 Under Armour shirts, 4 nice shirts, 3 t-shirts, belt, hats-visor, crocs, flips flops, running shoes....and whatever else I can think of and that doesn't include all my man grooming items.

Pack a little too much?

Kiss the Baby



Tuesday, August 30, 2011

To Clean or Not to Clean..the Toilet, That is the Question

So as we were on the way home the other night after the pool party, and we were passing the Kroger that I had to go to earlier in the day to get C2 some food.  Well my stomach was bothering me and while waiting I had to go handle some business.

It was now that I began telling T about how Kroger had one of the cleanest bathrooms I have ever seen at a local public place.  She started looking at me like I was nuts but then it went to another level. I told her even though it looked clean, I had to grab the bathroom cleaner and paper towels that they had there and use them to clean the area.  Basically I had to do a bathroom makeover.  I then told her what I had to do to finish the job which means I could finish MY job.

She is driving, but I can tell she is giving me a look of "Are You F-ing Serious?" Then the question she asked me was "Do You Do That At Home?"....."No, I only do that at a public bathroom or at work" Was my reply.  She is laughing at me, and I am not sure if she is laughing because she thinks I am funny or sick. I mean, if I have to go #2 then I am not going to sit down on a nasty toilet in a place that other people do the nasty She asked what do I do after that, I told her after I wash my hands I use the paper towel to open the door. She had no clue that I do this.

And while I do not endorse using the bathroom for this purpose at other homes, such as friends or relatives..If I had to, I would do the same thing.

I am not going to sit my clean ass cheeks on a nasty toilet. Hell at the place I work, half of the people don't even put the toilet seat up when they pee. How hard is it to grab a piece of toilet paper and or paper towel and lift the seat before you go.

Here is a video showing you exactly what I have to do every time I use
the bathroom here at work and if I have to use one in public
I am not the best Vlogger, so bear with it.

Look at it this way, at least I am leaving the toilet clean for the next person that probably doesn't do what I do.

Am I the only one that does this? 

Am I really that twisted or sick or crazy like T thinks I am ?

Kiss the Baby




Monday, August 29, 2011

Wee-Kend Fun.........Lego of my Pool Party I have get ready for Vacatoin

What a weekend. A weekend before we leave for the beach and I am more than ready to go. We had a ton to do this weekend and it all started Saturday for C1's 8th B'day party. C1 is turning 8 while we are on vacation so we had his party this weekend at Uncle Nolen and Aunt Bing Bing's pool. He was excited Friday night for this. Excited to see and play with his friends and excited to get presents.  What kids doesn't love B'day presents?

The party was a hit. Hot dogs, chips, drinks, cake. The kids all played in the pool and even a few of us dads played in the pool.

We got home Saturday night and the kids were tired. Very tired. So tired that C4 didn't wake up as I took him from car seat to our bed. That didn't stop C1 and C2 from going straight into their room and putting together the MASS amount of legos and playing with them until just about midnight. C3 hung out with Mommy T in the kitchen with some legos and I sat in the living room watching football and the race. He loved all of his stuff, he got money and a Angry Birds shirt and a Magic Kit.

Sunday was cleaning and pre prep for vacation day. We just started cleaning the house and stuff and I started getting all the stuff together that I needed to pack. I always over pack, but I will save that for a post later this week. T was making fun of my pre pack list. She made fun of me for a few things this weekend. My pre pack list and my pre public bathroom toilet cleaning steps. That one really made her think I was nuts.

Yesterday I also took C3 up to the soccer field to practice, she was the only one that wanted to go. We played for a bit, and let me tell you, that girl is so fast. T even cut the grass while we were up there, I think her tractor's sexy, well she is sexy on the tractor.

We played Pictionary last night with the kids. It is easy to say that my wife and kids don't appreciate my good artistic drawing skills. So no one guessed ANY of my words and the very last one...well, it was ended up being very nasty and T and the kids laughed until they pee'd.  (Word- Break Up) I drew an arrow UP, they got that. Then I drew a tree, and then next to it I drew a tree bent over (broken) and by the time the sand ran out, It looked like a tree was doing nasty things to another tree. Lets just say T and the kids didn't guess Break UP.

Here is the soon to be 8 year old B'day boy from his pool party. More pics to come.......

Hard to believe that on Saturday our first born turns 8.

Kiss the Baby




Friday, August 26, 2011

Fridays Final Thoughts 8-26-11......Im so Funky.

This Daddy's Blog


With the storm of the century getting ready to hammer the east coast, I have to take a minute and say stay safe people up and down the east but I also have to thank mother nature for Irene coming a week early. Cause nothin' comes between me and my vacation.

I struggle with things sometimes. Like helping people when it is going to take me away from T and the C's. I have no problem helping others, I think of myself as a good friend but it is a struggle since I work so much and get only the weekends to spend that good quality time with the kids and T. Last night our uncle asked me to help him at his church unloading some organ pipes and pieces and I aske T and she didnt have an issue with it. He does alot for us and the kids and he did buy me dinner and I was able to be a helping hand. But I still kept telling myself inside that this sucked because I didnt get home until 11pm and the kids were all asleep.

I do have to say, when I got home and all the kids were laying in the bed, it did look so sweet.  But not sweet enough to give up my bed. I moved C2 first. That kids is so HEAVY. Then it was C3, she woke a little to see me and gave me a big hug. C1, who is almost as tall as T, well I got him to his room and he had to make it up to the top bunk on his own. C4, i just moved him a little to the spot between T and I.

So C1 turns 8 on the 3rd. Oh shit! Yes 8. I cant believe 8 yrs old. But since we will be on vacation, we are having his party tomorrow. A pool party. It is going to be fun. Cant wait.

Earlier this week I did a Post about Hayden, Dari and Jenn Nowkhah's son that is in ICU with some heart problems. 2 weeks old. Sucks. I am torn, I havent heard from Dari in a couple days and being the worrier that I am, well I am thinking about it and I cant bring myself to keep sending him messages and asking him. So I guess I am going to wait and hear from him and I will hope things get better.

On to lighter things...My yes my Atlanta Falcons play at Pittsburgh this Saturday and we have two more preseason games left before the real season starts. I expecting big things and I have promised T that no matter what happens, no yelling, no screaming, no breaking or slamming things in the house. Only deal I made with her is that when the Falcons win we do the PO-DO, and when they lose we do the PO-DO. I have not gotten the signed agreement back from her yet.

I have a confession to make. The other morning during spin class, a class in which I sweat my fat pig like ass off..I noticed that I smelled very bad. What bothered me about it was not the fact that I smelled, but the fact that I smelled like.......tuna. I swear, I kept putting my nose in my shirt to try and figure it out but damn I was funky like a can of bumble bee chunk light.

Maybe that is why i keep getting followed by cats.

Have a great weekend.

Kiss the Baby



Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thank You Note Thursday....Get Drunk on this 12 pack of fun

On Thursdays I like to hand out some Thank You Notes to people and or things that have made me think twice about them. Never serious, always intended to bring a smile and always without a doubt 100% true, that is why they get Thank You Notes.


Let me give some Thank You's out today. Lets not waste anymore time.

Hurricane Irene...Thank You, for coming a week early and not screwing up my vacation next week.

Caulk...Thank You, for being a word that can be used in any form. "Will you touch my Caulk?" "I love to play with my Caulk" "My Caulk got all hard"

Sausage...Thank You, you are a meat that can be so much fun. "T love's my Sausage" "Would you like some Sausage for dinner?" "Be easy with the Sausage!"

Baseball Bats...Thank You, you make it possible for great lines such as "He carries a big stick" "He knows how to swing the wood"

Nascar...Thank You, only in Nascar can a driver (Kyle Busch) lose his license for 45 days but still be able to drive in circles at speeds over 100 mph.

C3...Thank You, for telling me last night that I can sing at your wedding, even though Mommy T said she would not go then.

Enter and Exit signs at stores...Thank You, for making it possible for people to do the EXACT opposite of what you say. Enter in the Exit door and Exit out the Enter door. Dumbass

Chicken...Thank You, for not complaining when I make Beer Butt Chicken and I shove a beer can up your insides.

@DanaMacario...Thank You, for going on vacation at the same time and place that we are. What are your babysitting rates at night?

Molly...Thank You, for telling us here in the South that we have the best handshakes. Nobody shoots the bird like we do.

C2...Thank You, for coming into our bed last night and taking your knees and digging them into my back. A lumbar support system is what I need at night.

T...Thank You, for adding those awesome words to the top of my blog. Now people don't have to wonder

Kiss the Baby



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I am asking for a moment of your time today...

A moment in which I will ask you for a favor.

Well today I am writing a post like I have NEVER done before.  I have been doing this blog for a couple years now and I have never written a blog post like the one you will read today.  Many of you know me or believe me to be a giant a-hole, a person that talks shit and causes trouble and drama and stirs the pot.  But for those of you that REALLY know me, you know I am probably one of the most caring and sensitive (probably over sensitive) men you may come across.  So with that let me start with the brief history of how I came to this point to why I am writing about this today.

I am a huge sports freak. I love sports. I love sports people. I am a fan of athletes and I am jealous of people who get to have pro sports be a part of their lives.  I was never and will never be a pro athlete. I would have loved to have been and unless something happens, I will never be a person that gets to make a living talking sports. But since I have become this Twitter whore (as T calls me), I have tweeted athletes and gotten tweeted back (Ochocinco-he's fun), I have tweeted sportscasters and gotten tweets back from them (Dick Vitale-admitted he was wrong about something), and I have tweeted some of the crew from my favorite channel ESPN.

There is one guy who stands out. At first he stood out because of something he did. I had a really bad day at work and I was driving home and listening to ESPN Radio on the satellite radio and this guy was covering for another during this week. That hour ride home was made better by this guy. I was already a fan, I mean he does an awesome job on the radio and on tv, but I could feel the positivity flowing from him over the radio.  So the next morning I began searching for him on twitter. Found him, and to my surprise, he tweeted me back..regularly from that point on.

The guy I'm talking about is Dari Nowkhah (@ESPNDariNowKhah on twitter). He has become a mega favorite of mine. He is a regular guy, dad and husband. He has a wife and three kids. He told me months ago that he and his wife Jenn were having their third child. They were having another boy. This was awesome news for me. A favorite of mine is going to be a dad again. That rocks. I was happy for him. So weeks passed and I checked and Dari said that Jenn was having the baby on a Friday, unless something changed.  Well that Friday came and he sent me a tweet that Jenn and baby Hayden were doing good. Another brief tweet to ask him how the first weekend at home went and he again said the family was doing good and thanks for asking. Dari comes across as a nice regular guy, who like me is a normal dad, loving and taking care of his family.

And then yesterday out of the blue Dari sends me a note telling me that 11 day old Hayden is in ICU with a weakened heart from a virus. I felt so bad and sad for him and his wife. I didn't know what to say to him. What do or can you say to a dad that has a baby in ICU?  I don't know if I would care about what anyone was saying to me at that point. I just don't know. I told him I will keep him, Jenn and Hayden in my thoughts and prayers and mention to others so people can do the same. A few chats to each other yesterday made me open my eyes once again that I am a lucky man, so so lucky. I asked him for a picture so I could blog about Hayden today and give all of you the chance to see the sweet little boy that is in ICU with a weakened heart but has huge hearts around him looking at him with eyes of encouragement.

Will you please say a prayer for little Hayden
12 days old. Son of Dari and Jenn Nowkhah

Late last night he sent me a message that read "I owe you a pic".....I sent one back that said "You don't owe me anything!" Dari doesn't know me from a stranger on the street. Why on earth would he even take time away from his family to send me a message? A picture of his son?  I don't know, and I don't care. I just know that he told me about what was going on and I felt for him. I talked to T about it last night. She knew who I was talking about and we talked about it as we watched tv in bed. T was kind enough to listen to me talk about someone that we don't know but I feel a sense of fatherhood and friendship for Dari.  As T and I were talking I mentioned that Dari has my dream job, but I bet he would give up his dream job and trade me for my shit job if he could have his little Hayden right there by him and Jenn healthy as could be.

As of last night little Hayden was still in ICU. I have not gotten any updates from him on Hayden's condition yet today. But I have never done this or asked anyone to do this on my blog but today I am going to ask you if you can wish Hayden well and send Dari and Jenn your thoughts and prayers for the newest member of the Nowkhah family. For Dari, this is the least I can do for him and Jenn.

I went to sleep last night and the last thing I did was go look in on the three C's across the house and come back to bed and kiss T and give my little C4 a kiss.

Dari and Jenn, Thank you for sharing  your life with me. Something so important to you both and you are sharing it with me and for that I will continue to think about your family.

Kiss the Baby



Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Right To Bear Arms....Do You or Dont You?

There are somethings we as parents do in life that we try and teach our kids not to do. I guess you can call it the "Do as I say-Not as I do" type of parenting. I don't know. Call it what you will.  One of the hardest decisions I had to make several years ago as a husband, father and a man was the decision to buy a gun and have a gun in our home.  I don't like guns, never have, probably never will.  But after thinking long and hard about it, I made the choice to buy a shotgun.

Guns. I am scared of guns. I am scared of guns around kids. MY kids. We don't let our kids play with ANY kind of guns. No water guns, no plastic guns, nothing like that at all. And we have even taken away the guns that come with the legos. We have even told the kids that anything of the sort is called a blaster.  Being that I am scared of guns, that made it even more of a hard choice to buy a gun and have it in our home. But the end decision to buy one came from the need of feeling safe and secure. The feeling that my wife and kids are safe at home alone. I work late. I get home late. Its dark, and for the longest time we didn't even have street lights in our subdivision. Sometimes an house alarm just isn't enough and our dog Laila, we she...she couldn't pop a bubble if she sat on it.

So I bought the shotgun. Learned how to use it, clean it, care for it and I put it up high away in a closet in a blanket where the kids couldn't see it. Hell it was so high that T couldn't even see it or reach it.  That was a problem. How on earth can T protect herself and the kids if I am not there if she cant see or reach he shotgun?  Other problem, this was a big shotgun. How is she going to carry this thing in moments notice if she has the kids to also get to a safe place in the house? Would she be able to pump it and pull and pump it and pull?

All of these things flip flopped in my head and led me to the decision that it was time to get rid of the shotgun and get a smaller handgun. A smaller hand gun would be easier to hide from the kids and easier for T to use if the need came up. But damn a smaller gun, shit this is all you see on the news, kids getting a hold of these guns and accidents happening and I don't need any of that. I wasn't really sure of what to do at this point. So we got a safe. A touch pad key entry safe that the gun would stay in and it would stay up on the shelf.  I felt better about this. The gun is in a safe that the kids cant get into. The kids don't even know what the safe is or whats in it. The kids still don't know we have the gun and I plan on keeping it that way.

   This is the safe and the gun that is now in our home. I have not even shot this gun to try it out. Neither has T. 

So of you may not agree with our decision on how to handle the issue of guns with our kids and that is fine. Everyone has their own way of doing things.  Most if not all of T's extended family are all very familiar with guns, safety and how to use them. They may even let the younger kids go hunting with them, target practice and what not.  That is just not for us. Some kids may play with fake, plastic guns in the woods and cops and robbers and stuff like that. That just isn't for us. Just cause I did that when I was a kid, doesn't mean I am going to let my kids do that now. Again I hate guns. 

With my feelings of hate and being scared of guns, come the know fact of the power that guns have. Guns are very powerful. I also will be the first to admit that I don't have hardly any knowledge of guns. Don't really care to. People have even said to me before in conversation, "Your dad is in the Army, and you don't like guns?" No, and I couldn't even tell you if my dad ever had a gun or not while he was in the Army. It never came up, don't care that it never came up. I don't care if my dad was a Navy F-ing Seal, I don't remember being so curious about if my Army dad had a gun or not.

There are somethings that I will recommend to other parents to try or think about doing in their home or with their kids. This is not one of them. If you are a parent and you don't feel safe with a gun in the home, hell don't get one. I will never tell anyone that you are safer with one than without.  I am also not the one that is going to listen to people say, "You should teach your kids about the safety and let them be knowledgeable about guns" Nah, thanks but no thanks. Not going to happen.  My kids want to learn about guns, let them grow up and become and adult and make that decision for themselves.  My kids are exactly that KIDS, and since when did handling, playing, using, learning about guns become a kids thing?  Again, just cause I did it, doesn't mean I am going to let my kids do it.

Me taking that picture of that 357 Magnum was the first time it has come out of that safe since it went into that safe MONTHS ago.  And if I am to take it out of that safe for any reason, the reason is going to be to protect my family.

In my opinion, guns are not fun, guns are not cool, guns are not neat. Guns kill people, people with guns kill people. Kids with guns often kill themselves or other little kids. Guns are dangerous, strong, powerful and deadly. 

Whats your opinion?

Be safe.

Kiss the Baby



Monday, August 22, 2011

Isnt she the sweetest thing....Ummm, HE'S A BOY!!!!

Hearing those words make me shake my head at the ignorance of some people.

So I heard something this morning on the radio and it made me once again realize that we are living in a place where people think everyone has to be the same. And I am not just talking about Ga. for this particular thing but society in general. People think that boys need to do this, girls need to do this and if they don't do that then they are weird or different in a bad way.

So on the Bert Show radio program I listen to in the morning one of the guys Jeff was telling a story about how a friend of his was talking to someone and a kid and the person said in reference to the kid "She can bring all of her friends" and then the kid said "I am a boy". Well Jeff said he was so embarrassed and the friend was and then Jeff said the comment "Why doesn't the kid cut his hair?"

That right there automatically made my mind think that I live in the biggest M-F'ing redneck ass narrow minded society that there is.  I know this guy Jeff is the comic relief on the show, and his comedic statements are usually speaking the truth or getting laughs or trying to get people to feel one way or another. I don't think for a minute that he is of the mindset that all kids should look like little military servicemen, but I could be wrong.  Everyone has opinions and that is fine, but why is it that people can not look past what someone looks like and then make that judgement or get to know someone first? Especially kids!

C1 has long curly hair and C2 has long straight hair. C4 has curly hair and people have a one time or another called my boys...girls.  If you really look and open your eyes and get the rebel redneck flag out of the way you can see that my boys don't wear girl clothes they don't look like girls and they don't talk like girls.

This used to upset me. I used to blast people when they said something so ignorant and just plain stupid like "oh she is too cute".  Is he wearing pink, or is he wearing a dress or something with bows and flowers??? Are people that F-ing stupid to know the difference between a boy and a girl.

And why is it that people think all boys need to have short, buzzed, military style haircuts?  I cant stand that shit. People says that shit all the time to me here where I work and I tell them to cut your kids hair and you let your kids look like little rednecks and let them look the same as everyone else. I mean, dont f-ing worry about my kids and their hair. I think I can handle it. You worry about your redneck ghetto ass kids and their sloppy ass runny snotty nose, rude ass M-F'er.  My kids love their hair. I love my kids hair. My kids actually look cool as hell.

T and I have never and will never make decisions for our kids based on what others think. People make comments about us homeschooling. Screw You too. Keep your kids in crappy public schools.  "Homeschooling kids are weird and unsocial" Really, my kids are very social and do the same things that alot of kids do.  "You don't let your kids play with guns?" NO we don't. and I will not. Just because yours do, and even though I did as a kids, WE make the choice to NOT let our kids play with guns of ANY KIND. Not water, lego, plastic, play...NOTHING.

So i guess I am ranting and raving today. I mean even this weekend we went to a movie at the park and T saw some boys beating and punching this other kid and he just laid there crying and T took the boy over to his mom and the boy that was doing the punching was cursing at T. Really, a young kid is going to be that disrespectful to another adult. No one else was going to ask this child if he was ok as others just looked at him. What are we trying to teach our kids today? I know kids roughhouse and play and get crazy but these boys left this other boy there crying. T did what she hoped other parents would do if that was our kid or anyone else.  We dont let our kids do that. I dont want my boys out playing at a park and all of a sudden C1 and C2 jump on a friend or another little boy and start beating on him. That shit isnt cool. Do you want your kids to be the bullies or the kids that make fun of other kids for what they look like or what they wear?  Teach your kids to be nice and respectful to other kids.

So there you have it. We are the weird family. We homeschool, our kids have long hair, we don't let them watch stuff that isn't age appropriate (PG), we don't play with guns, we don't allow words such as stupid, dumb, idiot, hate, shut-up and other words that are negative. We don't let them ride up and down the street or play in the front yard without us being out there. And im sure that there is much more.

But you know, I am ok with all of this. I would not change a thing about how we raise our C's.

And I also wish that I still had my boys hair. And good looks.

Tomorrow post- Having a gun in your home with kids..Is it ok?

Kiss the Baby



Friday, August 19, 2011

Fridays Final Thoughts 8-19-11 Shucka Mucka Fukka

This Daddy's Blog


It is Atlanta Falcons Friday.  The Falcons are on tonight, they are playing at Jacksonville. Go Falcons. I have my Falcon red on today.  I am glad this week is just about over. Seems like it has been a long one.

I have taken the last two mornings off from the gym so I could stay up later at night with T and we could have some US time.  We, or should I say I do and say stupid shit late at night. I think I am being funny and usually I am the only one laughing but last night we had a funny moment. For some reason or another I cant remember how much the kids weighed when they were born, I cant remember anything like that but I can remember songs from the past, word for word and sports trivia and shit like that. Well last night the song "Iko Iko" entered my head and the lyrics came out of my mouth. Well actually I didn't remember the exact lyrics but I had them going a little something like this..

Shucka Mucka Fukka Shucka Mucka Fina Fey talkin bout hey now...I hated that song. And then T says " I loved that song" So i kept singing Shucka Mucka Fukka Mucka Fukka Fina Fey...whatever. And then I found out this morning that this song was in a movie that I have never seen. "Rain Man" Hope never seen it.
Enjoy the Shucka Mucka Fukka

In a few weeks we will be at the beach and I am so ready for this vacation. The kids love going to the beach and so do I. I cant wait to play with the kids, sit and watch and TRY to relax some. Soak up the rays, Im gonna go fishing one day and try to catch us some food. Just to get away from it all and have fun with T and the C's, gonna be great.

Have a great weekend and enjoy your kids.

Kiss the Baby



Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thank You Note Thursday....And Im like Thank You!

I guess that I have been trying so hard to get back in the routine of being at the gym in the morning that I have also gotten back in the routine of falling asleep early and not spending any US time with T. So last night I actually stayed up till a little past midnight and T and I got to talk a little and laugh and relax. I got to bug her about PO-DO and how sexy she looked as she was scratching her leg. Then we both said the I love you's, I tried to touch her butt but couldn't reach, so I settled for playing footsies for a minute.

So as I do every Thursday I hand out some Thank You Notes. This is just something that I stole from Jimmy Fallon and I like to give thanks to some of you and some people or things out there that may not get noticed. So lets jump into this weeks hand outs like its a bowl of red jello.


Matthew McConaughey...Thank You, for accepting the role in the new movie coming out about Male Strippers. I just didn't have the time.

Kasey Kahl...Thank You, if not for you I don't know who would "Guard and Protect" any of us!

Heavy Bag...Thank You, for kicking my ass at Saturdays kickboxing class. I have never had my ass kicked by a bag before.

Christine O'Donnell...Thank You, for walking out of the Piers Morgan interview when he asked you about Gay Marriage. No one was interested in you anyways...WITCH.

Eli Manning...Thank You, for saying you are in the same class as Tom Brady. Uhh No your not. But now we know Peyton is the SMARTER brother, and better QB too.

Fantasy Football...Thank You, for giving me something to do while I am at work.

Calendar...Thank You, for staring at me everyday while I count the days until we are at the beach.

DirecTv...Thank You, for being assholes, and screwing me, a customer of since '01 and you cant hook me up with a deal. After football season..Im going to screw you back and harder.

Ankle Socks...Thank You, because of you I can show off my sexy ankles.

Is there anyone you would like to thank?

Kiss the Baby



Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wordless Wednesday...but with words. Obsession


Do you remember being obsessed with something as a child?
I do.

Right now C1 is obsessed with

Did you have an obsession as a child and does
your child have one?

Kiss the Baby



Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Living With An Angry Addict

If you know me personally or have read the blog for a long time and we have become Worldwide Web friends then you know that I usually do nothing but talk so sweet about my awesome wife T.  She has even said before you have to write a post about me being a bitch or something. People like Andrea and Muliebrity have even made statements such as "Puke", "GaG", towards my loving posts that are going to be included in the Bloggers Book of Love someday.

But recently I have discovered that T has a bit of a problem. Now this problem doesn't take her time away from her kids. It doesn't take her time away from the start of the school year. She still coupons, and and cooks and cleans and does all that....But something has a hold of her and its not letting go.

She has become addicted to..
..not painkillers
..not the booze
..not sex....damn it, why cant it be this one!

But the

The kids play the mess out of this game on our phones and C2 got T addicted to the game. Every time I look she is playing this game. She hasn't showered in days and hasn't brushed her teeth and she is sitting in a chair playing. She gets in bed and she plays. She is in the tub and plays. She might play while she is on the toilet, but I wouldn't know about that one.  Hell I even saw her driving with her knees so she could play as she drove down the street.

I cant take it anymore. At night I try to fall asleep and she is in bed playing and all I can here is the sound of this little punk ass monkey from the game.
I wake up in the morning and get ready for the gym and T is sleeping but I see her fingers moving like she is still playing the game in her sleep. I have to get my T back. I wish I knew what to do. The kids have tried to help me. They are asking her 24/7 is they can play with her phone. Gentle whispers of "Mommy can I play Angry Birds?" fill the room, but her grip is tight on the phone. The battery dies, she gets a new one and charges the old. Levels get completed and she has a smile that say "Ha Ha, just beat you little bastards!!"

Maybe if I play along with her and try to limit the time, that will make it easier for her to give up the addiction. If I can just get her to put the Angry Birds away. I am willing to do whatever it takes to try and fix this problem. I love her and will always love T. No Angry Birds game is going to change that or take my wife away.

***Everything in this blog post has been greatly exaggerated and overstated. Except the part about me wanting T to be addicted to sex (with me) and the kids asking to play with our phones all the time.

Kiss The Baby




Monday, August 15, 2011

Wee-Kend Fun......Kickboxing Class..Hurt so Good

Well it was another great weekend and just another one out of the way and that means we are getting closer to the beach vacation. I can smell the salt in the air and I can feel the sand in my toes.

My Atlanta Falcons may have lost the game Friday night but the starters looked so good. The starting offense and defense looked nice and they will do it again this Friday night.

Well my Saturday started off ok. I got up and got ready to go to kickboxing class with my cousin Stephanie and my stomach was messed up. Not sure from nerves or what but lets just say it wasn't pretty. So we get there and I was very nervous and but I stuck with it and finished the class, which consisted of ab work, punching the heavy bag, kicking and kneeing the heavy bag. It was a total body workout and it kicked my ass. See for yourself. The pictures tell the story..

I was ok at this point
Now, Im getting nervous and scared
Ok, made it through the ab work and warm up
and feeling fine
Holy Sheet! Im soaked with sweat and
this bag im hanging on kicked
my ass for an hour. Im done.

Thanks Stephanie for the kick ass workout.
Then we hit the pool for an afternoon of swimming and that good and fun, cooled us all off. T had chicken in the crock pot with Teriyaki and we had chicken and rice. That was good.

Sunday was a nice relaxing day. We had alot to do around the house but it was nice to have a laid back day to just get some stuff done.  T got so much done for the consignment sale and I just did some housework.

Took about a 2 hour break from cleaning to get in the bath and give myself the good ol shave. I am at the point to where I might look into getting the laser hair removal...I mean I spend more time in the bath shaving my arms, chest, legs and back than T gets to spend in there during the whole week.

Well that's it. Not too much excitement for us.

Kiss the Baby



Friday, August 12, 2011

Fridays Final Thoughts 8-12-11.....Smell that? Smells like Matty Ice

This Daddy's Blog

Friday morning and the sun is out. Ready to get the day started so it can get over with. The work part of it that is.

Had a good workout this morning at the gym. And you already know I am borderline woman the way I cry and complain about my body and how I look and etc... but it feels good when the guy that trained you at the gym tells you he can see a difference from when I first started going in. Now I don't see it, but if he sees it then I guess maybe its true. I'm at 208lbs and I need to get down to an even 200.  I actually busted my ass this week and got back on track being at the gym and only missing yesterday.

Speaking of busting my ass at a gym, our cousin Stephanie who is into the kickboxing and women's fighting and all that shit (for whatever reason) trains for that stuff and we made a swap deal. She comes and does Spin Class with me once and I will come take her kickboxing fighting class with her. So tomorrow morning I am going to get my ass kicked. This is not your cardio kickboxing class mind you, this is where we will be kicking bags and each other and shit like that. Fun huh?

So you know how some kids (hell even some adults) start looking forward to their birthday long before it gets there..Well C1 has a birthday coming up..In Sept. and he is in a Lego state of mind. Now T and I we don't mind the legos until

..they get all over the house
..we step on them
..C4 get them and the other C's make a all out war to get them back
..they find themselves in the kitchen when its time to eat

But legos do give the kids the chance to use their imagination and be creative.

So with the birthday coming up C1 printed out a list of every lego set he wants. Key word is wants. I know kids are like that. Hell I want a lot of shit too and I am 39. 

Speaking of legos one of my favorite daddy bloggers that I even gave a thank you note to yesterday Daddys In Charge makes the coolest video's using legos. The videos basically tell the story and use lego figures. The C's love watching his videos. So this weekend I am going to try and make a lego video.

I am also going to beg and beg and beg T to let me get ESPN back. I know I went without it last football season but it is so hard. I know paying bills is way harder and having a lower bill makes a difference, but I am going to ask and see if we can hook it up...just for football season. Foot and back rubs will be in full effect when this gets asked.

And speaking of football....
With the first preseason games starting last night it made me think of this..

And with my, yes I said it MY Atlanta Falcons playing tonight I am so excited to see my Dirty Birds take the field. I will have my gear on and I am recording the game so I can watch after the kids go to sleep and drool all over Matty Ice and Roddy White, NEW WR Julio Jones, my Defense. Ahhh, the Falcons. I love my team. Preseason Game 1 vs. the Dolphins.






Thursday, August 11, 2011

Thank You Note Thursday...Because Im that damn nice!!!

Last night was the second night of "Can I please sleep on the couch", so C1 was able to sleep on the couch last night, and this morning I found out why he wanted to so bad.  He wanted to watch a show that only he is allowed to watch right now and C2 and C3 cant watch it. He recorded the Phineas and Ferb Movie. He was up before 7am watching it. Crazy. So tonight is C3's night for the couch and then that is it. T is starting the school year next week I believe so I am letting the kids have a little couch time before next week.

Well every Thursday I like to do my weekly ripoff of one of my not so secret BroMance Crushes Jimmy Fallon and his Thank You Notes. Now mine are not nearly as funny as his, but they are still mine. So without anymore delay, its time to hand out some thanks on.......

My repo customers...Thank You, if you paid for your cars on time, I wouldn't have the pleasure of getting cursed out and lied to on a daily basis.

Atlanta Falcons...Thank You, Im so glad your back. I love you. Matty Ice Ryan..I love you. We ended our last seasons relationship on a sour note. I was angry but I will always love you.

Daddys In Charge...Thank You, with your awesome Lego movies you have made me want to sit and play legos with my kids even more and make cool ass movies about it. Rock On!

Glee Movie...Thank You, for being so F-ing GLAY. A GLAY movie, really? Your show is GLAY and I bet your movie will be too. And you are in 3D.

My Couch...Thank You, before you used to just be the piece of furniture that collected lego pieces, scraps of food, etc..but now you are there to catch the pee pee of C4 as he loves to take after me and walk around the house without a cloth diaper.

C3...Thank You, in the past few days you have made it impossible for me to ever forget that I am your daddy!  Maybe because you repeat the word "daddy" a million F-ing times. I love you my little babe.

C2...Thank You, for telling me last night you are going to hide my new hats that come in the mail and make me find them. Wait..I am no good at that game..don't hide my new hats.

C1...Thank You, for telling your Mommy and I that you were going to come into our room "4 more times" After the fourth time I will be getting the PO-DO going.

C4...Thank You, while I love the fact that you love hot and spicy food at the age of 2, I really don't want you trying to eat the Habanero pepper off my plate. And that goes for you too C3.

Mckenzie...Thank You, for meeting T and the kids down at the Centennial Olympic Fountains the other day. If not for you, it may have been T that got ganked for $20 instead of you. My favorite cousin.

Molly Mesnick...Thank You, for telling me that you were ebay'ing some of Jasons Bachelor items, although I missed out on the boxers, the t shirt with that mustard stain, and the invite to the wedding with my name on it.

The Bitchin' Wife...Thank You, for your dancing video. I know what its like to have talent. See below.

Well that is it for today. Enjoy and you're welcome.

Who do you want to thank?

Kiss the Baby




Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Im giving Parenting Advice. You will learn..To either use or run the other way

Just because I write a daddy blog, doesn't mean I know anything about being a daddy or I am able to give others advice about being a daddy. But I do a damn good job at faking it. It can either be awesome, funny, shitty or downright stupid when people give you parenting advice.  You know it depends on where it comes from.  It comes in all shapes and sizes and in all forms. Blogs, tv, radio, twitter, news, etc.  So yesterday I got a tweet with a link from this guy. I guess you can say I have become an overnight fan of this guy from listening to him on the radio. So when Bert sent me the link with the message "This is so in your strike zone" I don't know if that is good or bad. Damn it. Well I had to read it.

JD Roberto did a story on the Huffington Post titled The Best Parenting Advice I Never Got. So without going over the whole thing, go read it, read his advice. I'm going to list his 10 things and give you my spin on them.

1. When they nap, you nap. Don't send emails, don't catch up on work. Nap.  Nap? I hate naps. When the kids sleep, I try and do stuff around the house. I love to do stuff to help T out. I mean she is home all day with four kids and she even says that is when you get the "ME" stuff done. Maybe when you have little babies, but as they get older...F the naps..Naps are for divacups.

2. Travel with your children when they are very young. At six months old it's just as easy to keep them entertained in Cozumel as it is in Cleveland. You might as well get a tan out of the deal.  We have traveled to Disney World. We have taken the kids to the beach. It's tough to travel with kids. You get in a routine and then it gets all messed up. But we are going to the beach next month with the 4 C's and we have the little potty and I have an adult diaper. Plus you know how much shit you have to pack with 4 C's? So to say its easy...I'm calling Bullsheeet!

3. Buy a rechargeable, cordless hand vacuum. Your floors and cars will thank you.  A Vacuum, a steamer mop, something to soak up liquids. Hardwood floors, the elephant like the one in that commercial that eats up everything that drops on the floor. And you better get a high powered something or other for the car. You will find shit in your car that your kids started eating MONTHS ago.

4. It's perfectly acceptable to make an entire dinner in the microwave.  Well that all depends. I don't make dinner. If I make a dinner that is in the microwave it is usually nachos. Or veggies that are in this steamer bowl thing that T has.  I would say more that it is acceptable to have breakfast for dinner. That shit rocks.

5. In every parent-child relationship someone has to be the grown up. Try to make sure that someone is you. A two-year-old has the right to act like a child, you do not. Wow, a serious advice piece of advice. I have trouble with this one from time to time. I too often forget that kids will act like kids and do kid like stuff. Then at the same time I will not always act like an adult and too much like T's 5th child. Now I usually only get into the kid to kid battle with C3. She can be like the sharpest splinter that gets in your skin and you cant get out.

6. Take everyone who volunteers to babysit up on the offer. Repeatedly. Umm. Not so fast. If you are like me and you work a million hours a week and you only see your kids for an hour or two a night and then on the weekends, you may want to turn those offers down. Trust me on this, you will kick yourself in the balls if you take EVERY chance to go do something withOUT your kids.  Take your kids out with you. Have inhome date nights instead of going out. Trust me on this too, inhome date nights usually end with some PO-DO. Just sayin'

7. Buy everything you can second-hand. I don't know about this. T is awesome with the steals and deals and uses coupons and alot of our clothes can be passed from boy to boy. Now C3 our only girl, T finds her alot of nice clothes on sale. And since we pretty much own stock in Boden Clothing, we get free clothes from them. Kidding. Coupons and Sales.

8. Make time for the other relationships in your life -- seeing you in the role of good friend or devoted spouse teaches your kids way more than a Baby Einstein marathon. I think this is something that your kids will pick up on and something that you can instill in them too. I make time for T. i 100% believe that the C's know I am a devoted spouse and see that in the way that i treat their mom.

9. There's no such thing as using too many wipes. Ohh, T would so not agree with this. I change diapers if she is not in the house or the local city. I will drive with child in shitty diaper to where she is. And now that she uses the cloth diapers and cloth cant I just hose the boy off. I use half a pack of wipes on one small dirty ass. And I'm talking about C4 not me.

10. There will be times when you're sure you are a terrible parent and, secretly, wonder why you ever had kids in the first place. This is normal. Forgive yourself these occasional moments of self-doubt and, from time to time, let yourself mourn your life pre-parenthood. Then have a healthy glass of wine, get some sleep and get back to work. After all, as you've no doubt heard, it's a tough job, but it's all worth it. I have been here before. Back when I drank all the time I used to feel like this alot. I used to be such an asshole at home and then at work I would call T crying and emailing her feeling so bad. A major part of why I stopped drinking. But you know for all the bad days and all the moments when you doubt yourself, you have many more of the good days.  I love my kids.  I am a great dad. I put T and the C's before anything. When you have these moments of doubt..Wait till your child or children are sleeping, and look at how peaceful and safe they are. That is because of you.

You may take anything away from this, other than I have some marbles loose, but you can take my advice and use it or make sure you don't use it. Either way...I helped!!!

Kiss the Baby



Wordless Wednesday...but with a few words...


Staring into the world of the unknown.
Never knowing what might be waiting on the other side.

Do I go?

Am I scared?


I don't think so!

Kiss the Baby



Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Nascar and Parenting...Moms and Dads...Start Your Engines

Are you a fan of Nascar?  Ever watch a Nascar race? Hell do you even know anything about Nascar?  Well for some reason this morning I was thinking about how parenting is alot like a Nascar race. For those of you not into Nascar or don't know anything about it, let me give you a quick lesson.

You strap into your car, drive hundreds of laps, sometimes you encounter trouble, sometimes it runs smooth for long periods of time, and every so often you have to take a pit stop and fix your car, change things up a little, make adjustments and get back at it. At the end of the race, you know there are winners and losers but if you finish the race and can go at it another day then have done a good thing.

So here is where I make my sports to parenting comparison.  In parenting you know this is a long long race. You strap yourself into parenthood and get get ready for the wild ride. This ride can either be like the regular race track of life where you go around and around in circles till its over or you can be on what they call the road course and take the many twists and turns that come along.

We have four C's. They range in ages from 7 to 2. And we have been on both race tracks of life. There are times when we seem to be on the oval track, going round and round and round making only left turns and its the same thing over and over.  And that is ok. Even when you do that you run into problems. And when you run into those problems you take your pit stops and make your adjustments and then get back out there and continue the race.

I have even had days where I have had a major meltdown. My engine blew and just like the car, I couldn't finish that race. I couldn't handle that problem anymore. But I wait, think about what I could have done differently and try again later. And just like in Nascar where they have teams of drivers that work together, T and I work together as a team to make sure we always better each others position and we know where each other is.

Now the road course is alot different. Fast and slow pace of life. Speed up....slow down. Right then left then another left oh right. But the same rules apply. Know that you may have problems and be prepared to handle them. Handle them right and you make your race easier. Try different things and you may not be so lucky. But with trying new things you may also find that you can do something different and get the same or even a better result.

Like race cars that have sponsors and stickers and paint schemes and logos all over them, parent have the same make up. We are Mommy and Daddy.

And just like Nascar, where some races are longer than others, in parenting some days are longer than others...But its how you prepare for that day and handle that day...

....That makes you a winner.

Kiss the Baby



Monday, August 8, 2011

Wee-Kend Fun.......Are you POOLing my leg and licking ???

Another weekend gone and I'm going to be positive about it and think about it as another weekend closer to the beach.

This was a good weekend. We really didn't do much sometimes those are the best.

I took C1 to play tennis Sunday morning and he really enjoys it. I love seeing the kids actually enjoy stuff like that.

I asked the kids if they wanted to go swimming and C1 and C3 did, and C2 didn't. So C2 and C4 were going to stay home with Mommy and I was ok with that.  But then it hit me, I don't spend hardly any time with T and all the kids so I made the decision that we were all going. C2 did not want to go.  He really didn't want to go, so he was just going to take some legos and play. I told him to get his suit on and at least have it on.

We got loaded up and went to Aunt Bing Bings and Uncle Nolens and we did as we always do when we get there.  We eat first. So as we are eating and sweating buckets, Mr. I don't want to swim decides he is going to get in the pool.  I get the California Baby lotion (shameless plug) on the kids and then hook myself up and we jump right in.

It is fun swimming. The kids love to play and jump off the board and torment each other.  I try as hard as I can to act like a child. I'm so serious all the time and never goof off or do silly stuff, so acting like a kids is hard for me.

So we all had fun.

Worst Moment of the weekend...OK, so I finally shaved my legs. The are kinda tan, could be more so. The are pretty cut, so they look OK. But holy shit. What a pain in the ass. How do you women do this. Tried sitting in the tub. NO. Had to stand up in the tub and lather my legs with shaving cream and get to work. Used a brand new razor of T's and she didn't like that too much. I have smoove sexy legs though.

Best Moment of the weekend...You know those times when you finally realize that you have BOYS or GIRLS. Like your daughter might want her nails done. That is a moment you know you have a daughter. Well, my boys say some crazy things, I mean they are part of me.  So imagine my surprise when all of a sudden i hear C1 and C2 trying to one up each other with

C1- I licked Leo (the cat)
C2- No, I licked Leo
C1- Well, I licked Leo's butt

What the F-

C2- No, you licked Laila's butt (the dog)
C1- I licked Laila's butt???

Laughter explodes in the house while I look at T in the kitchen and we just shake our heads

Kiss the Baby



Friday, August 5, 2011

Fridays Final Thoughts 8-5-11....My Despicable Back is hampering my ManKini audition..

This Daddy's Blog


I'm probably the biggest bitch ass crybaby complainer when it comes to me and hurting myself or getting hurt or whatever. T hates listening to me, she hates offering me suggestions because I will not even listen to her and still cry like a baby. So Saturday I moved and removed and moved again every storage tub around our storage room. Every time I do this I jack my back. (Not to be confused with jacking something else).  This didn't hit me until until Wednesday night. After my 5am spin class that I lasted through, after a full day of finding cars to steal. I get up out of bed and BAM!!! I cant move. I cant F-ing move. So I guess I am going to listen to T and go see a chiropractor to see if he can try and fix my jacked up back. I worked before, so guess it may work again. (update-The doc isn't there on Saturday so I will see how my back feels over the weekend and go from there. So yes honey, you have to deal with me all weekend)

I turned my vacation time request in the other day and now the countdown is on. The Beach will be taken over by us soon. I cant wait. The C's love the Beach and so do I. If I could just rededicate myself to the gym and get my body ready. I have this killer ManKini I have been wanting to wear. I think they come in different colors. And just so you don't have to ask, yes..That is a sculpture of my actual body. I just have to ask T if she will be embarrassed by me wearing this.

During the summer the local movie theatre's have free movies and this week they had the last one since the kids in the area are starting school. It was Despicable Me. Now we have seen it before, the older C's liked it, C4 was little and probably hanging on the boob eating and sleeping or maybe just not interested in sitting and watching a movie. Well T told me that C4 sat there and didn't move. He was 100% attention on the movie. I got home and C4 was trying to act out parts of the movie. It ws cute.

Im gonna make some memories this weekend, dont know what they might be, I hope they will be good ones, but I am for sure going to make some.

Kiss the Baby



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