Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I Talk the Talk...........

But I Dont Walk the Walk...

I have been on the losing side of my battle with having patience again.

I have been snapping at the kids, been short with them.

I keep getting pressured to read the books and I refuse. Why? Shit I don't know. I know I would learn something. I need to learn something. It would help me out. It would help us out.

You know, the more I think about, I am really not that great of a dad.  For that matter I am really not that great of a husband.  I don't put in the work to get better. 

I play with the kids, I read to the kids, I do all the fun stuff with the kids. But when the time comes to be the strong parent and put my foot down, I just take the cheap shitty way out and get mad, yell, snap at them and half ass the discipline techniques that we try to implement.

I do all this talking about being such a good role model for my kids and trying to lead by example and I am finding out that I really dont do nearly as good a job as I should. I don't think I have ever sat down with the kids and asked them "What can I do different to help you?"

I talk all this shit about how proud I am about them homeschooling but all I do is ask them how their day was and ask them what they learned instead of sitting down with them to talk about it.

I do all this talking about being a great husband and taking care of my wife and providing for her and here I am not really being that great of a husband. I have a million faults and really never take the time to ask "What can I do differently?"

Guess I need to figure out what being a good father and husband actually mean.

Kiss the Baby



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