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Thursday, November 3, 2011

A case of "No Really It's Me, Not You"

So last night I was an asshole to one of my kids.  And I scared another to tears and hurt some feelings.

Yeah wasn't my kind of night last night. Didn't start out like that, just shit happened and spun out of control from there.

Tried Love and Logic and then that didn't work. Tried talking and convincing and that didn't work and then just raised my voice and that made it worse.

Snack time. Snack is my deal. I get home and get night snack for the kids.

One child was having snack and they were all looking at some new lego books they got and the one child was trying to point something out to another and the other didn't want that to be done and back and fourth and that is when the cup of milk spilled all over the table.

What happened next....NOTHING. No clean up, no asking for help, no asking for paper towels...NOTHING. That is what got me. He didn't get up and start cleaning, he just sat there. Then just let the shit drip all over the place.

Now I wasn't upset that he spilt the milk. Accidents happen. Even when you are playing around shit will happen, these are kids..but if you do have an accident...get up, get something and clean. Its ok and that is that easy.

And the whole thing just got worse from there.  He had a bad evening. I made it worse. I was in the wrong and didn't handle it right. I will try again next time and see how it goes. Last thing I did was go into his room give him a good night hug and kiss and tell him we both had a few bad moments tonight, (BOTH) and tomorrow will be better. He smiled and I left.

The other...Well that was more of a scaring a child to tears then it was anything else. I wasn't mad at this child, but what had happened just scared me. I was trying to get one of the children to brush his teeth and he is by far the hardest to deal with at this time of the night. So I am trying to get him into the bathroom and trick him and chase him in there and nothing is working. So I asked one of the other kids to help and when they did so, the hand of a child got slammed in a door. I saw it and it happened so fast (in slow motion) that all I could do is scream NOOOOOOOO, and a few other things. Well that scared the one trying to help me and off that child went crying.

I explained that I wasn't mad, but I was just scared and stunned by what had happened and I shouldn't have yelled. Another situation that I didn't handle in the right way.

Well after that, it all got better and then night ended with sleeping children and a wife telling me what an asshole I am and that I need to do better when I come home. In a joking way, she was telling me this but telling me so I would be aware that I don't need to come home, spend 2 hours with the kids and be an asshole for most of the time. Words taken into consideration and tonight is another night and a chance to have a better one.

Time to read up on some Love and Logic and buy some patience and understanding.

Kiss the baby

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3 comments:

Penny - the awesome one. November 3, 2011 at 10:40 AM   Reply to

I have spent alot of my last 11 years of parenthood apologizing for stupid shit I have said or done. And it's not much better with the other two kids... lol.

Kristin November 3, 2011 at 1:48 PM   Reply to

Realizing your mistakes and working to improve is one of the things that make you a great dad.

Lindsey @ The Hill House November 3, 2011 at 2:03 PM   Reply to

I swear, I battle this daily! Between work and school I'm not home much, but then when I am I feel like all I do is fuss at the kids for X, Y, or Z. I try and hope to do better, but man I fail daily. If you find the store for Patience, please send me the address!

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