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Monday, December 12, 2011

Excuse me, Can you please show me your Panties?

Department. The Panties Department, not what you have on......
So we took a ever fun trip to the mall on Saturday. Yeah, the best time of the year to go to the mall is the weeks right before Christmas. Nothing but assholes (including me) walking around bumping into you and standing in the way...but whatever.

Saturday it occurred to me that I actually am embarrassed about something. ME, yes!  The person that never gets embarrassed.  I can buy pads and softcups, rubbers and whatever else T wants me to pick up.  I can walk around with wood in public and no problem...but as we stood and waited in a certain area of a store I realized as I looked at this stuff, I could never buy this for my wife. Buying it FOR HER is not the problem...Its sifting, sorting, looking, sniffing, feeling, trying them on...never mind that one.

PANTIES.  Now purchasing them is not the problem.  But I was standing there and noticed that there are so many and some of them were HOT.  T came out of the bathroom and I was like "Damn, some of these look nice".  In order for me to buy her panties, I would have to look at them, thumb through them, hold them up, feel them for softness.  Now if I wasn't already dirty enough this would make me look like a pervert in the department store. What am I going to do, walk up to some sales lady that probably looks like my grandmother and say "Hey, what do you think of these?" or "Excuse me, are these comfortable?"


Now, I dont do the Victorias Secret (Kicked out a women for Breastfeeding) but I swear the section of the store where the women's panties were was like a candy store for kids. I felt like I had a bobble head. Looking all around from afar.

Now I wouldn't have gone this far...


I don't think I would actually sniff any panties. Like I said I am dirty, but not that dirty.  I looked at T and actually said to her "I couldn't buy you any panties, there are so many and I like a lot of them."

Being that I don't like to shop and when I actually do I am very indecisive, I would probably end up leaving the mall looking like this


So I will just leave the panty shopping to T.  I have never complained about the panties she has bought before so I don't think I will anytime soon. And if you happen to be at a mall and see some guy walking about the panty section for hours with this crazed look on his face, don't rush to judgement and call security, remember he may be like me and just in shock and or embarrassed.

Kiss The Baby


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2 comments:

DIY Addict December 12, 2011 at 1:45 PM   Reply to

this post is really funny. My husband is also like this. everytime we go into the panties boutique or department, its like he is holding himself not to touch nor stare to any panties on display.

Anonymous,  April 10, 2012 at 5:53 PM   Reply to

You put a smile on my face. That's saying a lot

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