Monday, January 23, 2012

Its my own pity party. And I'll cry if I want to.

Rough day at my house yesterday.

I thought I was going to have a good day. Started out with a little pain in the kidney and then it passed but as the day went on, well it hit me. The bad pain came from no where and it put me back on my knees pretty much bringing me to some more tears and all I could do was take a pain pill, sit there and wait to try and feel better. They say I'm going to have some kidney spasms from the surgery and stent removal but this is getting to me.  I'm not myself. I'm just not. 

I'm used to helping around the house. I'm used to being active and playing with the kids outside. I'm used to doing more than sitting in the damn chair. Laying in the bed. Crying and rolling around the floor. Taking pills every few hours. This shit is getting to me and its bringing me down. I'm trying to be positive and stay upbeat but I am having a hard time.

To be honest, I really feel like I am worthless to my family at times here the past few weeks.  Feeling good and telling the kids we are going to do something and then falling to the floor in pain from my damn kidney hurting from the spasms or leftover stones or something.  Trying to do my good husband deeds around the house and not really having energy to do anything.

I know this is my own damn pity party and T told me to not feel like this, but its hard. Its hard waking up starting my day good and then hours later feeling like shit.

That isn't me.  I'm a clown, I'm a joker, I'm a fifth kid, I'm the one that aggravates the kids. I'm the one that plays outside and rides bikes and runs and kicks the balls. The past few weeks I haven't been able to do that. I'm sad about that. I'm sad that T has to do everything and take care of me like I'm a newborn.

I guess the only funny thing about this weekend is that C3 wants to look at the strainer I'm pee'ing through to see if she can see some stones.  She is so excited and keeps asking me if I have pee'd the stones out.

Gotta love daughters.

Kiss The Baby



Daddy's in Charge? January 23, 2012 at 3:16 PM   Reply to

It sucks not being able to do what you normally would do. Just have faith that it will be all better hopefully sooner rather than later.

Anonymous,  January 23, 2012 at 5:17 PM   Reply to

I missed FOUR days of my life and LONG awaited vacation b/c of bronchitis and flu!

I feel the same bro: my wife did ALL the shopping, cooking, dishes, Mom and Dad stuff; I just sat there--for four days.

Be a good soldier and take care of yourself through recovery, that's serious stuff, Man. You'll be back in the game.

Praying for you,
Mark L.

Helene January 23, 2012 at 9:55 PM   Reply to

I had to go and get caught up a tough couple of weeks you've had. I'm sorry for what you're going through but cut yourself some slack. It's not your fault what's going on...just take care of yourself, rest and hopefully you'll be back to normal very soon!!

Miss Awesome January 24, 2012 at 10:43 AM   Reply to

Quit your whining and complaining! What a baby!!!


You know she doesn't mind taking care of you now and then. You gotta take care of yourself too you know, so you'll heal instead of getting worse. Worse is bad, healing is good.

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