Thursday, February 9, 2012

Im Sexy and I know it..Or I thought I was..

I think that we may have all done some things in the past the we kind of look back on and regret.  Maybe we did something and now that we are older and wiser it was not so smart of us to do.  I have one of those moments. Yeah, ready for this.

Years ago before having kids and our marriage was fresh and new, I thought I would do something crazy for T and maybe she would like it, maybe not. Only one way to find out.

I was in somewhat better shape than I am now ( a lot better) so I thought I would take some pictures of myself in our bed in my "I'm Sexy And I Know It" clothes.  My PO-DO clothes, yeah nothing. No clothes, bare, buff, naked, birthday suit.  So the pictures were done.  T wasn't impressed, probably laughed at me if I remember correctly, but at the end of the day it wasn't something she was really interested in.

So years go by. Years. We have a couple kids, the nice camera of T's is used for taking pictures of the kids, photos get put on a computer, get edited and time goes by. You know what happens as time goes by with your computer right?  It gets filled with information and pictures and it eventually needs to be cleaned out.......

Bring in this guy who I work with who more than a few people believe is gay.  I don't know if he is or not, I don't care if he is or not, I have know him for 10 years and he is a good dude.  Maybe a little clue was when he showed up to our house one day and his shirt said "Toot My Horn"?  Anyways..

This guy works on computers.  I took the hard drive to him (not that- the computer) and he said he would clean it up and fix it, make it run faster and would do it for free. (Wow, this all sounds so dirty).  He called me over the weekend he was fixing it and said he had it cleaned up but the last thing he was wondering about was all the pictures.  I told him to keep all the pictures.  Assuming that it was only pictures of the kids.

Ahhh, nice to have the computer back. Hook it up, running faster, cleaned up, he put some protection on the hard we have a better working computer.  First thing I decide to do is look at the pictures and see what shots of the kids we have.  I'm saying to myself.."These are nice", "Good Shot there" "Wow, T takes great pictures of the kids"..Then it happens.

HOLY SHIT. Now I'm yelling from downstairs to T, about these pictures that are on the computer STILL. I'm laughing and crying at the same time.  I have naked pictures on the computer that a guy just fixed, a guy that works with me, and a guy that I think is gay.  WTF man.  Oh lord. I go upstairs and I am telling T that the pics I took a long time ago are still on the computer and what if he saw them. Now she is laughing. Laughing at me. I'm an idiot. An idiot that has naked pictures on a computer that was looked at and fixed by a suspected gay guy. Not even a good looking gay guy. Teeth falling out, bad breath, not the type of gay guy that I would want looking at my naked pictures.  Does that even sound right?

Well six or so years later, I still work with the guy and he has never said anything, I sure the hell haven't, it hasn't come up and I don't plan on letting it. Lesson learned the hard (drive) way.

Kiss the Baby



Justin Scott February 9, 2012 at 11:36 AM   Reply to

I do a special sweep of my computer before I ever bring it to Apple for service just in case; even though a nude photo of me does not exist haha. Who knows what my iSight camera does on its own...

My only gripe is really a question. What is it about the guy possibly being gay that makes it a difference? You said earlier that it doesn't matter to you that he might be gay, you've known him ten years, he's a good dude, etc. But it was that this guy was gay that really got you upset.

That he wasn't an attractive gay guy is even more interesting to me. If he was People Magazine Man of the Year attractive would you have been like, yeah a hot gay guy looked at my pictures?

As a gay guy, I wonder about these things when a straight guy says or writes them. Is it because I am slightly above average in my looks that I have so many straight guy friends? Does this make them at least a little bit gay :-P ?

I guess what I'm getting at is why does the sexuality of the person matter and more so, why does the attractiveness of the person who's sexuality you are questioning matter when it comes to possibly stumbling upon the nude photos of you on your computer he was gracefully cleaning (quite possibly with Grace Kelly playing in the background)?

Finally, just because he might be gay doesn't mean he found you attractive. He might have laughed away at the pictures just as much as your wife did and is sparing your any embarrassment (for him as well) by pretending it never happened. Don't worry that a gay guy will look at your photos and get something out of it. I imagine if you saw naked photos of Roseanne Barr while fixing her computer, she wouldn't worry just because you're straight. If you catch my drift :-P

Ok, that's enough of that. I enjoyed the post and your blog, just wanted to better understand what "that" was about; as someone that finds himself at times purposefully looking away for fear his straight friends will worry.

Scott S. February 9, 2012 at 12:04 PM   Reply to

First to you Justin, thanks for commenting. I want to be clear that I wasnt upset. I felt silly and embarressed. I would have felt like that no matter who fixed my computer.

If a good looking dude looks at pics of me and says I look good, hell yeah its an ego boost, just like if a good looking woman would be too. If someone less attractive male or female looks at me as handsome or whatever I would feel good but not as good.

I think a person has friends for who you are. We are not in high school anymore. I assume you have straight male friends because you are a good person.

Im trying to answer you question by question. And they are great questions. It doesnt matter to me if a person is gay or not. Ugly or pretty. I can only be honest in my dealing with this story. Its a true story.

And You are correct. I dont know if he ever found and saw the photos at all. It has never came up.

This guy bought a truck from me, he lends me movies, I talk to him on the phone, I have no worries about him or anything. And I would say to you NEVER look away in fear that your straight friends are worried, if they are your friends, then they are friends.

I hope I explained it better and you understand.

Justin Scott February 9, 2012 at 12:12 PM   Reply to

Thanks for the deeper explanation, it is appreciated.

I grew up in a small town in Texas where coming out would have meant bruises and possibly worse. For the longest time, the types of comments I heard similar to the ones in the original post made me afraid to come out to my straight friends. These fears pushed me into a long, deep, teenaged depression. Luckily a move to college opened up a whole new world for me.

I am so lucky now that I can be out and have an amazing assortment of friends.

I am always happy to meet people like yourself who don't find someone's sexual orientation a barrier for friendship and are comfortable talking about it.

Keep up the great site, glad I stumbled up on it this morning just by chance!



Anonymous,  February 9, 2012 at 5:28 PM   Reply to

The things we do to makes our wives happy.

I keep telling my wife that sailor suit doesn't fit me anymore, but then again, maybe that's the point.

Thanks for the early morning laugh, I almost spilled my coffee!

Mark L.

SaskaDad February 10, 2012 at 11:09 AM   Reply to

Just when you think the past is behind you it kicks you in the behind. Funny stuff.

christopher (@twistedxtian) February 10, 2012 at 12:59 PM   Reply to

The liberal sprinkling of sexual innuendo totally made my morning. (Granted it was a morning if broken servers and meetings...)


The Awesome One February 12, 2012 at 2:50 PM   Reply to


Something I didn't need to know about you. Awesome.

My husband sent me some from Iraq (of him, not you). I also laughed. Too funny. They are not on my hard drive though, but remain in my email account.

The Awesome One February 12, 2012 at 2:52 PM   Reply to

This reminds also of the one time I had a few pics on my phone that Bryan texted me from AIT.

His mother used my phone to call someone then was all oh pictures, (mostly pictures I'd taken of the kids to send to him while he was away). It was Easter dinner. I don't think I have ever jumped up and run so fast in my life!!

Then everyone was giggling and laughing because obviously what else could possibly be on the phone, but nude pics, otherwise why would I care.

So embarassing, would have been worse if I hadn't realized and she'd actually seen them I guess.

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