Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Attachment Parenting - Part 2....Time for the Men to Step Up

Attachment Parenting...So many people do this, some label it and some do not.  Just like in my previous post that I wrote with the influence from Jamie, Attachment Parenting starts between a husband and a wife but the most impact you can have is when you show your child / children that special kind of love.  Most of the times I read about Attachment Parenting it is based around the relationship of the mother and the child. 

I want to be that dad that helps other dads learn how to have that bond with their baby.  I want to be that dad that has other dads saying "I learned a lot from that guy!"  Now, I will never admit to knowing all there is to being a dad.  Sometimes I even question if I am a good dad or not, but I will say that I am always at the head of the line when it comes to learning. 

Dads here are some ways you can make that bond better between you and your child or children,

BabyWear..Man, I loved when the kids wanted me to wear them, I even had my own sling.  I felt like the biggest and baddest dad when I would walk around wearing my kids.  Think of that bonding time you get when you can carry your young child, that safe feeling they have.

Help your wife while she breastfeeds..I am a huge breastfeeding advocate.  A lactation consultant will tell any husband that he an important part of the feeding process.  In the beginning write down the feeding times and the poop and wet diapers.  Help relax your wife, get her a drink, if she wants a cover get that for her. Be supportive of her if she chooses to do so in public.  Act normal since what your wife is doing is normal.  You have no idea how much you will help if you just do the little simple things.

Change diapers..This is the hardest one for me.  Ohh how I hate diapers.  But if you are better than me and man enough to change a dirty diaper then I applaud you. 

Bath time with your babies..Make it fun. Your babies will smile so much more if you make bath time a fun time.

Co-Sleep..I love the fact that each of our children have and still sleep with us.  They will move and did move on their own.  C1 and C2 have cool bunk beds.  C3 and C4 have bunk beds and when C3 is ready to go to his own bed he can and he will.  I am not one that will shut our door in order to keep the kids out.

Love and Logic..I am a huge Love and Logic fan.  I am so hardcore against spanking and hitting your child the negative style of discipline.  There are so many better ways to teach your child and educate them on behavior and how to act and learn from mistakes and bad choices.  Would you have learned more in school while getting yelled at by your teachers?  No, so why yell at your kids, they wont learn from that.  Be sweet and gentle. 

I think we as men feel that sometimes we need to be this hard ass, tough, mean figure and stand over our kids in order for them to listen and learn from us.  That is so wrong. There is nothing wrong with being that soft, gentle parent that can deliver that strong message. 

Attachment Parenting is something that comes under fire STILL, but to be honest there are so many parenting practices that do.  It just so happens that I am on the positive side of the Attachment Parenting conversation and I support this and will continue to write about it and show my support.  I think more men need to do the same and stop leaving this in the hands of our wives.  Our wives are big girls and can handle themselves but when our children are involved and how we care for them, sometimes our wives need that teammate.

Kiss The Baby



James October 10, 2012 at 10:19 AM   Reply to

Will you please post a link to your Blog at The Fatherhood Community? Our members will appreciate it and as the father of 3 teenage boys, I will too.
Members include: Fathers, Dads, Daddies, Fatherhood Lovers, Experts and Fans.
It's easy to do, just cut and paste the link and it automatically links back to your website. You can also share Photos, Videos and Articles if you like.
Email me if you need any help or would like me to do it for you.
Please feel free to share as often and as much as you like.
The Fatherhood Community:
I hope you consider sharing with us.
Thank you,
James Kaufman, Editor

James and Jax blog October 11, 2012 at 9:42 AM   Reply to

I am in love with this post. Thanks for writing about attachment parenting from a father's viewpoint. I wish more dads would do the same--both the writing & the parenting style!

Talking Thirty October 12, 2012 at 9:35 AM   Reply to

Great post. Forwarding this link on to my husband right now! Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Anonymous,  October 15, 2012 at 11:03 PM   Reply to

Thanks Scott,

Good word for us men. I want to be "that Gut" too, who helps other dads. That's why I read your blog.

Love it, respect it.

Mark L.

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