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Friday, November 9, 2012

Time for a little explanation

Recently I have had a hard time blogging.  The main reason is that I have had mostly negative feeling inside me and not a whole lot of positive going on and while I could write daily about all the bs that is happening to me right now, I'm not!  I was not going to blog everyday about the dysfunction in my life.  No one wants to read that shit.  I am know for being an asshole, but a funny one.  One that brightens a room with my stupid jokes and dirty old man persona.  That is why I have been absent from blogging.

Besides T and the kids, nothing has been right.  My parents and T's mom seem to be all I feel like we have.  I don't feel like I have any close friends that I can trust with anything.  I haven't had a phone call or text from so called friends in I don't know how long. But I'm at the point that I don't give a shit anymore.  I have T, the kids and family and that is good enough.  Well SOME FAMILY...The ones that don't screw you over after you have given them blood, sweat, time and years of hard work. Anyways.

I wrote a semi detailed post the other day about something that happened and for personal and maybe legal reasons, I took it down..but only for the time being.  Trust me, that is all going to come out.

I have been stressing over finding out over a much too prolonged time about my Crossfit Level One Course Test.  It is driving me nuts.  I keep waiting for this email.  I think that may be some of the reason why I have been lacking motivation to get to the gym.  I should be using my hate and anger and disappointment and nervousness to fuel my drive for my fitness but something in me is just out of wack.  Out of balance.  Been like that for a few weeks.  I'm going to use all that I learned and start fresh.

I have put myself and my family in a position that we have never been in before.  We are about to hit a wall of epic struggle for us and I have myself to blame.  I should have seen what was coming and made better choices earlier.  For the first time in my life I am not actually sobbing, quitting and sulking about what I have done to us.  I am actually going to fight and make it work out better for us.  I know that T and I have support from my parents and her mom and that is all the family we need.  Everyone else IN MY OWN OPINION can kiss my ass.

Things are going to change.  Places may change.  Just never know what is going to happen.

No matter what, I made a promise to T that when we got married I would take care of her and now that means the kids too.  I have 5 people to take care of and I will do whatever I have to do make that happen...Whether that's here in Ga. or anywhere else.

Maybe I have some good news coming my way. 


Kiss The Baby

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5 comments:

mattdantodd.com November 9, 2012 at 10:39 AM   Reply to

Betrayal sucks. So sorry you're going through that.

You have to do what you have to do to take care of your family. Godspeed on your journey, wherever it might be taking you.

In the meantime...hang in there.

James and Jax blog November 9, 2012 at 11:48 AM   Reply to

I hope you guys get some really good news soon. Sorry things are crappy right now. Nothing is permanent (that's what I try to keep in mind).

HwnInPA November 9, 2012 at 3:13 PM   Reply to

Wondered where that post went! Hang in there and do your best to think positive. Good things come to good people, just takes a while sometimes for the BS to get out of the way.

Amy O'Connor November 10, 2012 at 4:52 PM   Reply to

Wishing the best of luck to you guys in this time. This could be a great time to shake things up and do something that makes you happy.

KML November 13, 2012 at 12:23 PM   Reply to

I am thinking of yall and hoping for good news too. I love Tracy and enjoyed getting to spend time with her Sunday. I know GREAT things are going to come yalls way. Love u

KML

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