Monday, December 23, 2013

Christmas Wake Up Call

I am going to stay on my CrossFit schedule for Christmas.  I am going to just plan on getting up around the same time on Christmas morning that I usually get up for my workouts.


I expect the kids to pull no punches AGAIN this year.  I see the the kids getting up early, making a shit ton of noise and then making damn sure that we are up and entering the World of Mass Present Destruction way earlier than we should.  I will make sure that the timer of the coffee pot is set to EARLY AS F**K and that the pot is full.  Will I even get a chance to pee before being rushed off to the living room?  Better make sure the battery on the camera is charged since lots of blurry photos will be taken! 

Yes, Yes, I will have on underwear.  I will be wearing more than a wife beater as I watch the kids rip open boxes so fast that pieces go flying everywhere.  How many screams of "That's Mine" or "Lenox Get Off" will be heard before the sun comes up?  In the middle of all the craziness one kid will blurt out "When Is Breakfast?" and then another kid will holler "I Don't Want That!"  

It wont be snowing, it wont be raining (maybe) and maybe just maybe the sun will come out.  The will be a great chance and some tears being shed over present overload.  Kids may fight.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure the kids will fight.  Things will be lost.  I'm sure that will happen.  But the forecast says there is 100% chance of fun.  

The 4 C's will be having so much fun and the place will look like a tornado hit and you know what?  I won't give a shit about the tornado and I won't care about the mess and I won't care about all the other craziness.  I'm going to enjoy it more than I ever have before.  I'm going to soak up the fun and let the kids be kids.  

I'm going to act a fool and act like a kid too.  And by 9am  will be ready for a nap.

Have a fun Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. 



Thursday, December 19, 2013

More Than A Three Tour

So C2 and I got through security and made it to our gate.  As we waited to board we talked, we laughed and then we waited a little more as our flight was delayed.

As we sat on the plane and we flew to San Antonio C2 played his gaming device and I listened to music and tried to avoid the overly large male ass that kept getting closer and closer to my face as the 6'6 male across the aisle from us liked to get up a lot.  Thank goodness he moved.

We landed.  We met my Mom and Dad (Nanny and PawPaw) and then we drove to the house.  First thing C2 did when we got to the house was look for the Elf on The Shelf (Freddy) and it didn't take him long.  We were both tired so he went to bed and then I did some paperwork with my parent for the new vehicle T and I were getting from them.

Woke up ready for an adventure of a 14-15 hour drive back to West Ga.  The Yukon Denali was already loaded and ready to go.  I know C2 was excited for the drive and the adventure.  He talked about it before we even got there and he was looking forward to making stops at the visitor centers along the way.

And we were off.

As were were about to get out of Texas....We encountered the City of Beaumont.  Now no one likes Beaumont unless you are from Beaumont (Still question you) or you are looking to leave Texas and you know this is the last place as you exit.  So we stopped at the State Visitor Center and C2 loved it. This kids hates pictures, really.  But he let me get a few of him. 

He even posed. Damn. Who is this kid that is letting me take his pictures. 

We then made it into Louisiana and boy do I hate that State.  We loved crossing over all the bridges and there are some big tall ones and long ones as we drove across the land.

Here is C2 at the Louisiana Visitor Center.  Didn't stay long.  Didn't want to get sick or anything.

We drove and drove and drove.

We got hungry.  And none of you will believe me but we wanted to eat Cracker Barrel and wouldn't you know it but we couldn't find one.  I tried to get off an exit for one but we missed it.  I figured that there would be one on any of the other hundred exits. NOPE.  You see them all the time, until you want one. 

We finally decided to stop and eat at the Olive Garden. Got us a grilled chicken salad and rested out butts and legs and stretched out for a bit while eating.

That was in Hammond, LA.  Then it was on for the last part of the trip.

C2 FINALLY decided to get some rest.  He laid back and went to sleep and got him a good dose of the shut eye.  Man, let me tell you..that is a long drive.  As I got closer, I told myself there is no way in hell I am stopping unless it is to sit somewhere and rest for a while.  I was not about to get a hotel and waste time being that close.  Once I got within 5 hours left, I was making it.

Then we got within 2 hours left and I was like...Gotta make it. Gotta make it.

Then it happened.  2:30am Sunday morning we made it into the driveway and we were home.  T opened the door for us, C2 went to bed, I climbed in bed and T said it didn't take long for me to start snoring.  The 14-15 hour trip lasted 17 full hours but that included all the stops.

We were happy to be home.  The rest of the C's were happy we were home.  The animals were happy we were home.

And T was happy this was now home

Thanks for the new ride Mom and Dad, T loves it and it has already been turned into a Reindeer.  

The kids are also happy to have a bigger more roomier ride.

That was a fun adventure with C2.  It started with a great flight and ended with a fun drive back to Ga.



Thursday, December 12, 2013


I have taken many road trips in my life.

They are journeys.  

They are fun.

You never know what you may encounter.

This time, I am taking a road trip with what could be called my "Mini Me".  Now we don't look anything alike, but we sure do have the same attitudes.  We share the same short triggered temper.  We both freak out a little too much over the smallest things.  

But we are both clowns, we both love to joke even when it goes to far, we both love the woman in the house and we are both early risers.

C2 and I are

Hitting the open road sometime in the near future.



Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Why do people care?

So she is the Worlds wealthiest Supermodel and she might be one of the sexiest women in the World.  But shit, she is breastfeeding while being pampered and made up and taken care of.  So many people have been crying and complaining about this. If you are one of those people that are bitching and moaning about Gisele doing what SHE does...Get a fucking life. Ok. Honestly. 

She is a mom.  Not all moms are the same.  We can all agree that moms do what they have to do when and if they are breastfeeding their child.  It just so happens that this mom is getting her hair, makeup and nails done by her team.  She posted a pic, and???  

People want to complain about shit. Jealous.  If you are complaining you are jealous. Face it.  Jealous of her breastfeeding, jealous of her looks, her body, the fact that someone else can do her nails instead of having to paint them yourself.  Shut the hell up.  

If she were bottle feeding would that matter?  If her kid was crawling on the floor would that matter?  If Tom Brady was there talking to her? I mean come on people. Complaining about shit that does not affect you is way to petty.  Complain about something that will benefit you, your family or make it better.  If she was doing this and her kids were with a Nanny, ya'll would cry about that. 

Look, my wife breastfed while doing many things.  If I was ever able and she wanted to, she would have breastfed any of the C's while having a team pamper her, maybe.  

*Disclaimer*  I never breastfed and I never attempted to breastfeed any of our children or any other children.  



Wednesday, December 4, 2013

This Is Not Your Beyonce's Halo

This was too funny.  Now normally T won't get aggravated over something silly on tv but yesterday she made a comment about a commercial she saw.  I had no idea what she was referring to until she showed me the actual commercial.

I laughed.  Now I didn't get all fired up like *cough cough* she did, but I did say that the child in the tv commercial was a little bit of an asshole.

So here is the one she was referring to

Damn this little girl from coming over with her little smart ass attitude and talking to her parents like this. Who bought the damn Halos in the first place.  So while the parents look all shocked and can't figure out what to say.....these responses came to mind

"We bought them, we will eat them all!"
"Watch this" *Throws Halos across the soccer field* 

I do have to say that the scene of the parents jumping through the sprinklers was funny.

Then I saw this one. 

Ok. Now while the dad playing in the tub with floaties and rubber duckies is something that I may or may not do, the man sweater has to Not the point I know, but I have to reference it.  I will stand in my kitchen and eat those Halos and if that kid appears out of no where and scares the shit out of me, I will go all Chuck Norris on his little ass.  After his 10 foot tall and bullet proof mouth finished I would have told him..

"Yes, it is ok for me to do that in the bath, WHILE I eat these f-ing Halos"
"Boy you scare me again like that and I will flush you down the toilet"

I also saw one that was too damn funny. 

This kid has his arms crossed like he is going to whoop his dads ass.  Like uncross those damn arms before I beat you with them. Boy...And yes. I broke that race car bed so what, you mom and I got busy in that bed crazy freaky like that is why it broke. BOOM.  

So why on Earth does the Halo company think that these commercials are even cute?  I mean, sure you laugh and you talk about the kids and how "Awwe, they are so cute"  Bullshit.  If your kid or kids really talked to you like that what are you going to do?  Are you going to look at them and walk off? No, you are going to do what you do!  Parent.  The only funny and cute part about the commercial spots are when they show the parents doing goofy shit.  Kids are already rude and disrespectful at times, why give them extra ammo. 

I really think the commercials are not doing them any good or really any harm.  They are just there.  Sure they got me to talk about them, but I am no one big, I just talk all kinds of shit about everything.  But what was really funny was that the commercial spot got T to do that thing with her eyebrow where it raises up.  Just the one brow.  The thing she does that makes you step back and choose your words carefully. 

Yeah that!  

*Disclaimer*  I do not endorse any mental or physical harm to your children or my own and comments made on this blog by me are just a bunch of trash talk.  We all know my kids rule me and probably would kick my ass if I touched the Halos. 

Kiss The Baby



Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Do You Disney?

I am a huge fan of Disney.  I love the movies.  I love the messages they try to deliver to the kids.  I love the Characters and how they stay with kids almost seems like forever.

As time goes on, I think some of us maybe lose kind of forget all of the great Disney movies that came out long ago. I know I have.

For instance, Cinderella and Snow White are two classic Disney movies.  I know how awesome they are and all the wonderful things that came from them.  But if you find me on an average, stop me in the street and ask me my favorite Disney movies I wouldn't name them.  They just wouldn't come to my mind that fast.  After taking the kids to see Frozen this weekend, I started thinking about the Disney movies that were my favorites.  I started wondering what movies made my Top 5 All Time Disney Kids Movies?

So I thought about it.

This is what I came up with. My Top 5 Disney Kids Movies

5.  Frozen -  This movies that just came out was cute from the start.  I love how it played the  sisterly love card and carried it on from there.  The movie was filled with song and dance.  Some parts made me think of what a Disney Grease would sound like.  You never knew what to expect with this movie.  Who was good, who was bad, who would save the day?  Many times I looked back and saw C1 and C2 laughing.  I looked over and saw C3 smiling.  C4, well he didn't move and inch or make a sound till the movie was just about over.  I'd say that's a good sign.  T and I kept looking at each other and laughing at the multiple funny moments in the movie.  Olaf the Snowman will be the favorite for the kids I'm sure.

4.  Cars - Just the first one.  A story about overcoming all the obstacles to get what is important only to find out that what was important was right in front of him.  Making a movie about all the different kinds of vehicles and the personalities was a great move.  The movie shows that winning isn't everything if you have to go above and beyond the rules.  Also had the truthfulness in the way that it showed how small towns have become less and less available as the bigger cities grow.  Also finding that true friendship.  Lightening McQueen pairs up with Mater and the two have adventures galore.

3.  Toy Story - I love this entire series but it can't get any better than the first time Woody and Buzz meet.  This is like the ultimate dream for a kid.  All the best toys and then when not around the Toys come alive!  I love how Disney picked all the toys to add from even when I was a kid.  And the way Andy loved his toys, that is hard to find now at times with a lot of children falling prey to the World of electronics.  And another classic example of how Disney makes the friendship of two characters the biggest story line.  Buzz and Woody saving each other from crazy boy Sid.

2.  Beauty and The Beast - This has always been one of my favorites if not my all time favorite.  This movie is so great.  Starts off with the musical aspect of it all and lead Belle to a place where she will soon discover what love it and during this time she will teach the Beast how to find love in his heart.  It's funny too how the jerk guy Gustav tries to bully Belle into loving him instead.  The staff of the Beast is also so much fun.  The singing makes this a fun movie and even though some of it may be a little dark for the younger kids, it spreads a good message of how true love wins.

1.  Wall - E - If you have seen this movie then you can guess why I love it.  It's nothing but a fun story about how a little robot that collects all the garbage and blocks it up to recycle it ends up saving Earth.  As every human leaves for space where they don't have to do anything for themselves, Earth is left with a pile of junk adding up.  Soon Eva is sent to collect data to see if life exists on the planet.  The spaceship that everyone lives on is taken over by sinister robots that don't want to go back to Earth and at that point Wall-E and Eva have to take action along with other friendly robots.  This movie teaches so much about friendship and gets deep regarding how to treat the place that we live.  How to care for the planet.  I loved using this movie as a early guide on how to make Earth a better place for the kids.

Well that is MY Top 5.  Like I said, I know there are so many Disney Kids Movies to choose from and I could probably interchange some like Monsters Inc, Nemo, Fantasia just to name a few.

What are your favorites?

Kiss The Baby



Thursday, November 28, 2013

The Real Things I'm Thankful For

Well this is officially my 41st Thanksgiving and I felt like I would do something a little different.

Instead of posting about things I am Thankful for that are sweet, meaningful and caring......

I thought I would write about some things I am Thankful for from the real side of me.  The asshole, smartass side.

I'm Thankful for having this blog which has brought me so much monetary success.  The riches from this blog have allowed us to live like Royalty. I mean who would have know my writing would lead to the land of the lost.

I'm Thankful for a wife that gives me the goods whenever I want. Really. She rocks my socks.  I'm also Thankful that she never speaks her mind.  What a horrible thing that would be if she was ever to be quiet.  And how she makes fun of the way I make the bed and how my coffee is too weak.  But she does shave my back and lets me take baths that are so much longer then hers.  I'm so Thankful that she loves CrossFit.  I really wish she would stop talking about it all the time.  Shit, I'm the one doing the wod's, why does she always feel the need to talk and tweet about it?

I'm Thankful for a 10yo that laughs non stop when I walk through the house in my underwear.  So glad that he loves when I sing.  I'm also Thankful that I get to ask him a million times every day to do this or that.  Never on the first time.  I love repeating myself so that is awesome.  It is not bad at all that he has absorbed my love of Star Wars.  Now if he could in any way talk about it even more.

I'm Thankful for the 8yo that is never a smartass.  Who doesn't want a kid that has to get the last word.  I'm Thankful that he will be the one calling us later in life cause he has ran his mouth to his wife and she is about to beat his ass. I'm so happy that he has a nose for whatever T is cooking.  Now if he would stop passing gas all the time.

Speaking of passing gas, I'm Thankful for a daughter that has learned how to roll her eyes while she gasses us all out.  And would it ever be great to have a daughter that doesn't wipe toothpaste on the face towel and then drop it on the floor.  I'm Thankful for how she loves to change clothes 500 times a day and then leaves her clothes all over the floor.

How could I not be Thankful for a 4yo that I have to take Sleep Pee every night and morning till he is able to get up and not pee everywhere like an 80 year old man.  I'm so Thankful that he loves to ask questions about how do Wee Wee's get bigger and what do we do with them. Yeah.  I'm so Thankful that while he co-sleeps he at least loves me enough to lay up next to his mother.

I'm Thankful to love a pro football team that is totally sucking ass this year.  I don't mind one bit that the Falcons went 13-3 and almost to the Super Bowl to winning not even a handful of games.  Makes Sundays great.  I'm Thankful for Drew Brees being a little bitch.  I'm Thankful for Cam Newton running the ball. I just wish Ahmad Brooks would grab his neck too.  I'm Thankful the the Buc's suck too. Just wish they sucked worse than us now.

I'm sooo sooo really Thankful for WalMart.  I will be there later today in all of my Duck DieNasty gear standing in line with all of the other overdressed women with too much make up.  The guys who spit in cups and smell like ass.  We will all fight for that one thing.

In all honesty I am really a lucky to have a great wife and four wonderful kids.  I love them all and I always write the honest truth about them in the loving caring way.  Today you got some funny bits and pieces about them and why I love them.  It's for who they are and how we are as a family.  I couldn't go one a single day without all the bullshit and hell they bring.  Make the nights with T and the GOOD loving she gives me better.

Well, hope you enjoyed that.  I need to go sit on the toilet to pee, take a long bath and shave my body.  Gotta get ready for the long day.

Kiss The Baby



Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Gentle Calm After The Storm.

It is nights like last night that make me feel what I am doing with my son is really working.

I know yesterday I talked about how frustrated I was in my dealings with him.  But last night I made it a point to just have a talk with him.  Nothing special, nothing scripted, just a normal nightly talk.

He was already in his bed as he likes to crash out early usually.  I plopped down next to him and we started a conversation by me asking how his day was.  He was telling me about his day and how it went good.  Then I told him about my day and how it was crazy.  "How was your day crazy daddy?"

(In my head, I was thinking this was perfect)....I explained to him how my boss yelled at me for something and how my boss didn't believe what I was telling him and took the customers side of the story over mine.  I explained how even though I didn't agree with what my boss was telling me, I listened and then went back to my desk and sat and let it roll off my back. (I was hoping that he would see that its OK to just walk away and not argue)

Then I asked him, "Do you ever just want the day to end faster when you have a bad day, like just climb in bed go to sleep and then start over again tomorrow?"

He said with a soft tone "YES".  I told him me too.

Then I asked him "When you have good days, don't you wish they lasted longer?"

With the same soft tone, I received a "YES". I again said, Me too.

It was great just chilling in his bed with him and for those brief ten minutes we both had a calming experience that let us both relax and I think we could hear what each other was saying.

So after a long weekend chasing this child and trying to fix his behavior, it was awesome to let it be and just enjoy him.  Love him.  Share and learn with him.  With each day that passes, I learn that this kid is more and more like me, and not just in the crazy ways I talked about yesterday.

As I got up out of his bed "Daddy, will you fix me that bacon, egg, cinnamon toast sandwich for breakfast?"

For sure.

Kiss The Baby



Monday, November 25, 2013

We Will Figure This Out.

I wonder if he will look back one day and think I was the biggest asshole father in the world?  I wonder if he will sit there and think that I was doing what was right?  Will he sit at a table with a wife and talk about what a bad dad he had?  Will he argue with his brothers and sister and say that I didn't like him as much as I liked them?

These thoughts run through my head.  All the time.  I have a son who is a lot of things.  I love the shit out of this boy.  He is funny, strong willed, creative, dead set in his ways, caring, loving and he is a good kid.  He really is a good kid.

With that being said, I am at a loss of how to deal with him sometimes.  We both have tempers.  We both like to have the last word.  We both like to take our frustrations out on things during the rough times.  We hit things like idiots.  We throw things like we are in a throwing contest.  We both stomp off and scream and yell and get nothing accomplished.

He is easily aggravated by things and people at times.  His fuse is short.  Just like me.

This is what kills me inside my heart.  This is what makes me what to cry.  This is where I want to go outside and take out my own frustration and anger.  And I'm not really angry with him, I'm just angry that I cant figure out how to make this better or easier to handle.  I want him to know that while I am trying to teach him how to handle his feelings differently that I too and working on this with him.

The moments come and he is mad.  He yells.  He screams.  He takes it out on his brothers and or sister and then his mom and myself.  The screams then turn to "I don't knows".  The "I don't knows" then turn to tears.  The tears then lead to total shut down.  I am by no means perfect during this.  I raise my voice.  I yell back and that is not cool.  But here recently I have started to try new things with him.

With two of my favorite parenting sites Love and Logic and Empowering Parents I have read and received tips that have helped me and given me better insight on how to handle my son.  I have given efforts to talk calmly to him now.  I have let him calm himself down before I have even talked to him.  I have asked him numerous questions and tried to get him to figure out why he is so angry sometimes.  I know he gets this from me.  That is what I believe.  Now T and I agree that later in life his strong willed, stubborn and failure to let go will lead him and help him be a better person.  He won't let people walk over him.. He won't let people destroy what he wants to accomplish.

But for now, I want him to enjoy life.  I don't want him so upset.  I don't want him to let his feeling stay bottled up either but we have to figure it out.  Saturday I tried something new with him.  We sat and talked and wrote stuff down.  We tried to find out what the problem was.  We came up with

Positive = Positive


Negative = Negative

I tried so much this weekend to understand.  His highs and lows.  I am at a loss with what to do.  I can't give up.  I won't.  I mean that would be such an asshole thing for me to do.  Give up on my son.  No way in hell.  He isn't a quitter and I am not either.  I will find a way to get us to work together.  But man, during the times when this shit is going down..... I just want to punch a tree out of frustration.  T read something to me last night that said you know what you are doing is working when the child at first still responds in that negative manner and has the out burst.

The first thing and hardest thing I am going to get him to recognize is that HE controls his actions.  When he does this foolishness it is HIS fault.  Then I am going to make sure he knows that Positive and Negative Actions lead to Positive and Negative Consequences.

After that if I had not punched my face off and kicked myself in the nuts to death, I will work on the next steps.

I'm not close to being a parenting expert.  Shit, I can hardly figure myself out, but I love this kid and it kills me that those that are most like us can be the hardest to deal with.

Kiss The Baby



Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Look What I Found.

Found this in my drafts way back from 2010.

Funny thing is that it's true.  But where it talks about how I "USED TO BE" and asshole to her, I hope that has changed.  I mean, I know I'm still an asshole, but usually to other people.  I hope I treat my wife OK.  I hope she knows that I love her.  I hope she wakes up happy and goes to bed happy that she is married to me.  I know I aggravate the living shit out of her, but that is who I am.  I am a wanna comedian trapped in the body of a chubby balding man who loves CrossFit.   I just wanted to post this from my drafts.  And, T who was so great at pointing out what an asshole I am at times..

She has gotten so much better at this over time.

I love that woman. 

2010 Post Draft
You know it is amazing that sometimes I can have a conversation with T and she can make a point and show me exactly how much of an asshole I used to be.  We were talking about the great weekend we were having and kind of talking shit to each other in a fun way and she made a comment about how we have been getting along so well since I stopped drinking.  I asked was that the reason we always fought and she said yes and it was because all I did was drink....all the time.



Spanning The Globe.

Last Saturday.

The conversation of Superheros is over.

The day is moving forward.

I then pull C1 into a conversation / question to see what he would say.

I asked him "What is a Hero?"

He looks at me with that look of puzzlement and a blank stare.

Me:  Is a police officer a Hero?
C1:  Yes

Me:  What about a Fireman?
C1:  Yeah

Me:  What about Army people, you know those who protect our Country and save us in times of Wars?
C1:  Well, I call those World Heroes

World Hero's.  I liked that.

Short. Sweet. To the point.

Kiss The Baby



Monday, November 18, 2013

Try This At Home. Ask Your Kids!

Kids are honest when you ask them things out of the blue.

Sometimes too honest.  The great thing about asking kids questions and getting the honest answers is that you can use those moments to teach them valuable lessons that will carry them through life.  Hopefully the lessons taught will be the correct ones.  And sometimes you will find your kids surprising you.

As the kids were eating lunch, I took the opportunity to ask the kids one by one question about Superheroes.  What about Superheroes makes you like them?  That was it.  One question.

C4, liked that they were able to fly, and wore capes while being cool looking.  That is from a four year old.  C3, also liked that they could fly, wore capes but added that they saved people while beating up bad guys.  C2 and C1 would never really give me a concrete answer.  I think the two older boys are more into the Star Wars (Legos) things right now so they were not really that much into talking to me about the Superhero thing.


I asked them one by one to come look at this photo and tell me what they thought of it.

As the kids got to the computer screen and saw this photo all they could do was laugh.  They didn't like this picture too much. WHY?  First words out of the kids mouths was...."Because they are fat", except for C4. He didn't care.  He still thought they were cool looking.  Leave it to the 4yo to know. HA. One of the C's even said "They have girl shoes on!" 

What's weird is that when I asked the kids questions about having friends, what's important to them about the friends they have and who they play with and so on, none of the things they said about this picture came into the conversation.  We went over examples of different friends they have and people they know.  The kids had no idea of what I was even talking about when mentioning how some people are different.  But for some reason they just could not help themselves from laughing at that photo above.  Now is this a case of kids being kids and laughing at something silly looking or a case of kids not accepting what or who is different?

"If the Superheroes could do all of the same things, fly, be strong, save people...would you still like them if they looked like this?" (Photo above)  They said No.  But then when asked "Would you be friends with people that are different than you?" They all said yes without giving it a thought.  I'm glad that they are smart enough and good enough kids to know and understand that everyone is different and that they should not judge people by what they look like but by the actions and way that they are treated.  

But, I was a little taken back at the reactions to the photo.  So it got all of us talking.  It was a good Saturday lesson.  For all of us.  

Then I wondered.  What would little girls think or say about the Disney Princess photo I found? 

Well, C3 doesn't even like a single Princess so she didn't care.  But would little girls still like these characters if they looked like this.  Would parents let the kids watch the Disney movies? I don't know.

Then I thought even more about this and T and I thought, "Do they even put "Overweight" children in tv shows now?  Do they have kids shows that have unhealthy looking children in them?  So many kids watch SOME tv.  Whether it be a cartoon of some sort or the newer Disney shows for the older kids.  Are there any kids on these shows that can show and teach kids about the struggles of being different?  Being overweight, a different race, bullied, unloved, adopted....Any of this.  I guess I may need to start watching more kids shows to find out.

Would kids still play video games if the characters were overweight and or different?  

So, my kids may not like their Superheroes looking differently and my daughter may not give a shit about a Princess,  but I'm glad they don't care what friends, family and playmates look like.  They are more concerned with how they are treated by those friends and playmates. 

I can live with that for now.

Kiss The Baby



Thursday, November 14, 2013

Do I Live Next To Luke Bryan


Every damn night I swear it sounds like we are live and in the front row of a Luke Bryan concert.  My old drunk neighbor ass neighbor loves to play his music loud.  And by loud I mean very loud.  By very loud I mean hearing word for word clearly through the 50 yards of trees.

Don't get me wrong. Luke Bryan may be the ONLY Country music artist I can handle but hearing the shit at midnight through my bedroom walls is a bit much.  Feeling the bass vibrate my bed like a cheap motel room mattress is not how I like to go to sleep.

I have to be up at 4:30 am and the really aggravating part is just the fact that it is a pain in the ass.  Now the dumb ass plays the shit during the day just as loud.  That is annoying too but its the middle of the day, fine. This is the same old man that cursed out T and yelled at the kids and threatened them during the day when they were playing outside.  The same man that I had arguments on the phone with after I "ASKED" him to not even bother with my family anymore.  He avoids us now, we don't give a shit about him.

Our kids play outside on our property and he stays in his house and plays his music.  He is in his own right to play his shit just like our kids are allowed to play outside and make noise.  But after a certain time, come on.  Even without the law getting involved on a WEEKDAY a person should have enough common sense to know better.  I wouldn't have my kids out at midnight playing and screaming and making a ton of noise.  Just like I would let my dog sit out there and bark all night either.  Just not cool.

So, cops got called again last night.  Cops came out again.  Music went away as the cop drove by.  Nothing happened but me talking to an officer in the freezing temps for 15 minutes.  It will happen again.  I'm sure.

Here is what I'm going to do.  I'm going to fucking write Luke Bryan and see if he will once and for all come give this old ass man a live concert in his backyard.  Sounds like he is there anyways.

So to the man who told me he was going to "rip my dick off and fuck me with it" I say this......You are lucky that I am trying to set a positive example for my kids by not fighting.  You already pushed your limits before threatening my wife and kids.  I want to knock on your door and invite you into the street and give your drunk ass the beating you need to sober up and wake the fuck up.  Then I am going to ask you to tell my wife and kids you are sorry....But, that won't happen.

Unless you threaten them again.  Then I will be asking for donations for bail.    Last request to you old man, can you please for the love of god play something else.




Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Freaks Of 5 A.M.

My phone blasts some Justin Timberlake to wake me at 4:20am.  As I head to the bathroom to pry my eyes open enough to get the contacts in, I think "What in the hell am I doing?".

By the time I get dressed and out the door, I am loaded with a bag of clothes, shoes, speed rope, Pre Workout drinks, Protein drinks, Water and a Banana. I am also armed with a feeling of "I'm kicking ass today and NO one is stopping me.  In the car thinking of nothing but CrossFit, I arrive at a place where only the dedicated, insane, awesome and hard working show up.  CrossFit Boiler Room.

Not even 5 a.m. yet, I walk in the door to see either Coach Stephen or Coach Joe with a dry erase marker  in hand writing what may or may not break us down in the next hour.  The Boiler Room has several daily classes but it takes a special kind of person to get up and at em for a 5 a.m. class. Not just anybody can get their ass up before 5 a.m. and drive somewhere for the fun of it. (And by fun I mean Pain and by Pain I mean Joy)

If I had the choice or ability to attend another class, you know what? I Wouldn't!  Our class is filled with people who push me to be better.  They may not know it or believe it but the men and few women in the class are badass. Coach Stephen knows I like to be yelled at, so he yells at me.  I love that shit. He is my personal Dolvett and Bob Harper.  Coach Joe is my hairy ass motivator.  Doesn't matter how bad I am sucking, he tells me I'm great.

We have some chicks in the 5 a.m. crew that are killers.  Kristen is a tough never quit fighter who refuses to let anyone look at her when she Wod's.....She is strong, so I don't question it. Then there is Mandy.  Mandy is funny, quiet but gets the business done and then out the door before 6 when no one is looking.  We have a new girl Bridgett who has been busting her ass and learning the drill. Still shows up, that's dedication.

Then there are the dudes.  Matt.  Matt is like me. Only younger, stronger and better looking.  He has a dirty mind like I do and that makes for a lot of laughs.  Chris.  Holy shit.  Strong.  That is all I can say about his ass. Strong.  Rickman.  Mike is a beast who is the silent but killer type.  Shows up, warms up, then throws heavy ass weight around.  Bo.  Now Bo to me is one of the funniest mo-fo's there.  This tiny framed man who could wear C1's clothes is the combo of fast and strong.

It was funny the other morning a new guy Justin came in and I was busting his balls and having fun with him and then he didn't show up the next morning. Coach Stephen said it was my fault. LOL. He came in later at 6. But it's nice that people can come in and feel like friends right off the bat.

I can't lift like Rickman, I can't lift like Chris or Matt or Bo.  And I'm fine with that.  It's all about Relative Intensity.  I bust my ass to my level of ass bustiness. I get to my threshold and see if I can get past it every morning.  But while we are doing these Wod's, I am trying to personally catch Bo, Rickman, Chris, Coach Joe, Matt, shit even Kristen and Mandy are always faster than I am.

But someone has to come in last. lol. At least I look good with my colorful socks, shaved legs, and so on.

I love the 5 a.m. crew.  Even when Coach Stephen plays Benny Hill.  I even love it when some of you nasty fools "Drop The Funk"   I mean love the class, not the "dropped funk", who in the hell could love that?

So thank you CrossFit Boiler Room for having that 5 a.m. class.  Thank you 5 a.m. Crew for pushing me and making me want to catch ya'll every morning.  We are a bunch of Crazy Ma-fuggers and it's a pleasure working out with you all.

Kiss The Baby



Monday, November 4, 2013

Grow That Shit Bro - NO SHAVE NOVEMBER

NO Shave November is a month long ban on shaving. The face that is.  The No Shave November is a different and unique way of showing support and raising awareness for Cancer.

What you do is let it Grow and let it show.  Be proud of what you have.  Me, I am losing all of the hair on my head so I am growing my beard.  I always have a beard but no the ZZ Top style.  Normally I have the shorter style beard.  But now, this month I am letting it grow. The reason behind it is that a lot of Cancer patients lose their hair, so No Shave November lets us men grow, embrace and support the battles of Cancer in this way.  And what the group would like for you to do is donate the money that you would normally spend on cuts and shaves to the cause.

Well for me, I shave and cut my balding dome at home by myself.  I'm a clean shaved balding 41 year old man that also shaves his arms, legs, chest and back.  As of now I have a week or so old growth on the face and I will let that grow for the entire month of November trimming only the mustache.  Can't have the muuuu-stache growing over my lip...That is nasty.

Now, if you want to you can also participate in the No Shave November movement by letting that beard grow. Hooking yourself up with a mustache.  Ladies, you can let your legs get shaggy (or even me, since I shave my,

You can also donate and learn how by going here Donation Page, buy you a shirt or something.  You can learn more about the Web based group by going here About No Shave November and read up on the whole deal.

So this is what I am going to do.  Here are a couple photos of me starting the month of November with the beard.

OK. I have a lot of gray and white in that beard.  Damn, I'm getting old.  I have never let my beard grow out for an entire month straight.  A few things can happen here with this. I will look crazy and hairy and I may or may not get that goods from T...I'm just saying.  She is not a fan of the Duck Dynasty style beard growth.

I will post pic's here and there.

Let me know if you are in on this and we can hook it up and keep track.

So......NO SHAVE NOVEMBER is in full effect. 

Kiss The Baby



Friday, November 1, 2013

Candy Fairy 2013

                   Now that Halloween is over, (and it seems like Christmas is tomorrow) I'm happy to say that the four crazy C's (Mike, King Pig, Red Ninja, and Cat) have made it through another agonizing night of god forbid candy collections.  Our neighborhood and a few other houses made it possible for the kids to get bags full of treats.  I did however find out that C2 was leaving tricks in other peoples garages. (Dropping Funk)

So after it was all said and done and this

and this

sat on the kitchen table with kids hovering over it selecting their 10 pieces with the rest going to the Candy Fairy. 

The kids love the idea of the Candy Fairy.  That is the entire reason they wanted to hit more houses last night so that they could better the chances of an awesome swap.  They wondered all night what would the Candy Fairy leave in return for their junk.  Movie tickets, books, Wii games, they think of it all. 

As we go to sleep the bag of candy sit on the table.  All of a sudden.........

A Lego Minifigure sat in front of each kids chair.

C1, he got the Rock Climber.  C2, got the Elf, while C3 and C4 both opened up a Gingerbread Man. 

The dvd of Monster U also sat on the table.  Damn!  All of that?  That sure seems better than a bunch of junk and dye filled hard as shit candy that will be gone in days.

That Candy Fairy sure does rock.

Only question this morning was if the Candy Fairy is a boy or a girl?  

Who cares!  Bet your ass this much, the Candy Fairy works wonders and if you try it, your kids would love it too. 

Kiss The Baby



Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Trick or Treat and What You Eat

Halloween is maybe the biggest candy consumption day of the year, and that led to a early morning conversation / debate on Q100's Bert Show this morning. The conversation was about a letter that a person handed out instead of handing out candy.

So, the letter basically calls out kids for being IN THEIR OPINION "Moderately Obese" and that parents should "Ration Candy" and not allow the child to "Continue Unhealthy Eating Habits".

OK. I get what the person is trying to do.  I don't necessarily agree with the tactics that the person is taking but I kind of like the direction they wanted to go.

First, I wouldn't hand out a letter like this. Think of all the trouble it could cause.  Too much uncalled for drama.

Next, this "It takes a Village To Raise A Child" shit.  I will raise our children and you raise yours.  Don't worry about my kids.  I don't worry about yours.  I don't tell you how to parent, so keep your shit to yourself.  Other ways to try to get a point across which leads me to my next point.

Maybe a better way to try and get the point across of this letter would have been to NOT give the letter but also NOT give out junk.  Maybe healthy snacks, organic treats, something like that.  Maybe a glow stick, something fun, hell even a piece of shit toy is better than junk food or candy.  So, If I am handing out anything other than candy, is that another way of maybe somehow making a parent think about healthier options for their kids?  I don't know, but it's better than that letter.  What if instead of dye filled, sugar loaded balls of fructose you hand out bags of apple slices.  Maybe even a natural fruit bar or something of that nature would be better than a bag of skittles.

So I offer you the chance to open your minds and think.  I am not telling you what to do.  Shit, I eat junk, like peeps or sour gummy worms or white chocolate.  Not all the time and I am not going to lay on the floor and kill bags of candy either.  Why would I tell you to NOT do something when I may do it myself.  Like I said, I am just wanting YOU to think about how you can help others in a positive way.

OHHHHH. Wait.  You know I have not even mentioned how dyes can affect your kids.  Did you know that FOOD DYES are harmful?  Did you know that the dyes in candy and foods are worse than the actual sugar?  Almost forgot this too, oh wait. Never mind.  All of you that are getting the flu shots for your kids don't have to worry about the sugar lowering the immune system.  I mean Halloween does fall in the "Cold and Flu Season" but why would you worry about that?

And then there is this and I wonder if we are the only family to do this.  There will be a special visitor that comes to our house following Halloween.  "The Candy Fairy".  The Candy Fairy will bring treats and gifts galore for the C's in exchange for the candy that they collected during the night of the Ghosts and Goblins.  It may either be single gifts for each C or it could be a family gift for all of us.  The kids along with T and I will go through the candy and they will get to select a certain amount.  Then the rest will be place in the center of the table and await the swift pickup by the Candy Fairy.

I honestly don't give a shit as to what you hand out at your door.  I 100% hope that you and your children are safe this Halloween as you embark on your Trick or Treating crusades.  Be safe as your kids hit the streets and travel through neighborhoods unknown and houses unseen.  Be smart and safe as to what you allow your kids to put into their bodies.

I also wonder what health nuts and fitness experts hand out for Halloween. Like Dolvett and Bob Harper, what do they give out?

I'm sure all or maybe even none of you will agree with what I have written but that's cool.  I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to make you think.  And you may not be my friend but I bet your ass is thinking.

Kiss The Baby



Monday, October 28, 2013

Losing The Name Game

I got called out Saturday afternoon by one of my favorite soccer dads.  Yes. I. Did. !!!

This guy John who is one of my favorite soccer dads has a son on C3's team and they have played together for years.  C2 even played with one of the families daughters.  This whole family is great.  The soccer mom is nice and funny and all of the kids are so friendly.  Well Saturday after C3's late game, John told C3 that "Your dad lost the name game", wait. WTF. What. I lost something?

John then explains that "The Name Game" is the number of times you scream your kids name during the game.  Oh shit.  I am THAT DAD?  Damn it, I am the dad screaming their child's name over and over throughout the game.  That's not what I want to be.  I want to be the happy soccer dad guy.  I love to watch my daughter play.  I love to cheer for her and the other kids.

Now this dude John, picture him..Like 6'5 probably, played football at UNC and has great skills with the kids.  I mean he was prepping them for the later game Saturday and what kid wouldn't listen to a 7 foot huge guy with a camo hat on.  Well upon hearing that I am the "Dad who yells his kids name too much" I am going to listen to John and I am going to lose this game every time from now on.  I swear this stayed in my head all Saturday afternoon and yeah, still is.

Now in my defense, I am not the parent who yells at his kid because I want my kid to be that solo superstar.  I want C3 to play well and be active in the game.  I yell for her to wake up, look alive, move her feet, keep running and so on.  I never yell at her in a negative way.  And I am also the guy who yells for all the kids.  I was screaming for all of our team.  I even started yelling for the kids by their numbers.

So, John....Guess what?  Next game, I am sitting right next to you and I am not going to scream ONE time to her.  I'm not going to yell ONE time during the game.  So I will for sure lose the "Name Game"

Kiss The Baby



Watching Through The Window

You never know what you will find when you wake up early on a Sunday morning.

We try to tell the kids to sleep in on Sunday mornings which NEVER happens.  Imagine my surprise when I get up a little before 7am on Sunday and take Lenox (our dog) out back.  I was walking around the back yard and I noticed the lights on in the basement rooms. HMMMMMM (thinking to myself), did I leave them on all night or...............

...........Was C2 sneaking downstairs to try to watch something?

Well as I got closer and closer to the window I saw C2 sitting in the chair scrolling through channels as if he was looking to find something.  Now why wasn't he upstairs watching tv?  He normally does that.  Gets up early and lays on the floor in the living room.  I sat and watched him and he never turned around.

What show was he looking for?  Now C2 has not accepted the fact that he has to be a certain age to watch some shows that he wants to see.  He also has not come to grips that he has an attitude problem at times and he just isn't ready to handle some shows he wants to watch.  So, I'm still watching him through the window.  He is scrolling and looking and I bet he was probably getting ready to throw that remote at the wall....

Why, you ask?  Because the Netflix password had changed and he couldn't get on to watch any shows.  Whether a show he could or couldn't see. I was laughing.  Now at the time I didn't know that the password had changed.  I wonder what I would have done if I busted him doing wrong.  Would I have tapped on the window scaring the shit out of him?  Would I have waited and asked him and wondered what he would tell me?  Instead since I saw him and knew he couldn't watch anything, I simply asked him later if he had any trouble getting on the tv in the basement and what happened.  He was straight up about it and said he added some channels and didn't watch anything....(CAUSE HE COULDN'T)

So it was just funny, taking the dog out and looking through the window and having a good laugh to myself for a good 10-15 minutes.  Next time I might scare the shit out of him. 

Kiss The Baby



Friday, October 25, 2013

TMT = Too Many Trophies

Awesome kids, you finished the season and although we didn't win a single game, you are getting a trophy!  You showed up, played hard and even though we only won a couple games, we are presenting you with this trophy.

How often is that heard nowadays?

Way too much.

Why do kids or teams get trophies for just playing?  Are we as parents and coaches or organizers too scared to hurts someones feelings?  Probably.  Little Boy and Little Girl shelled out $50-$100 to play the sport of choice and now since they played they DESERVE a trophy? I'm saying NO!  I do not agree with giving kids these material items for simply showing up and playing a sport.

What ever happened to the experience of playing?  What ever happened to the learning process of playing as a team and on a team?  Growing in the sport in which is being played?

I have a lot of reasons why GIVING trophies out as opposed to EARNING trophies is a problem.  These are MY reasons and you may or may not agree. I'm ok with that.

Kids should be rewarded for achievements. Not participation.  What is going to happen is that kids are going to grow up and keep thinking that they deserve something when they have done the minimal amount or just nothing at all.  If you sign your child up for something do you automatically think they should get a trophy at the end of the year?  What if the team doesn't win any games?  What if they fail to make a tournament?  What if it is a Tiny Tots type league like 5 and under for example?  Do those kids NEED a trophy?

I want my kids to earn something like that.  Now I am of the opinion that I still don't want a million trophies sitting around in a room or a tub or something like that, but if it is earned from be it.

Lets have our children earn rewards and achieve rewards.  Isn't that what you do for them in school?  Do they get a passing grade for just showing up or do they need to earn it?  Why not do this in sports?  I have been in conversations this week and a lot of people agree. #TMT = Too Many Trophies.

What do you think?  Are we as parents, directors, communities, coaches, team moms...etc doing too much to GIVE our trophies in sports instead of having them EARN them?

Kiss The Baby


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