Thursday, September 26, 2013

That One Time When My Kid Mocked Me.....ONE TIME


You know that look that comes over your face when something happens so out of the blue?  That look of HOLY SHEET DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!?!?  Well the other morning, you could have seen that look on my face if you had

A. Been in my kitchen at 8am (That would be weird, but kinda cool)
B. A photo to look at
C. Standing on my back deck looking in our windows (That is creepy)

Take my word for it, trust me, I had that look.

Now I have not written about CrossFit on this blog because I had gotten away from family stuff on here, but this has to do with both and it is funny in my opinion and really that is all that matters.

Lets revisit Tuesday morning at CrossFit Boiler Room and a little workout called Karen.  Karen, now that name sounds so soft and sweet and caring. Right?

BULLSHEEEET!  Karen is rude, mean, tough and she makes you want to throw up and leaves you not able to walk or get up from the toilet the next day.  I don't like Karen, but I love CrossFit. So Karen, I will tolerate you and work on destroying your ass.

Here is a sampling of what Karen is done by Proving Grounds BlackList Team Member Armand Lotman. Now I didn't have to go all hardcore and do the Double Unders, just the 150 Wall Balls for time. 12 minute time cap.

So me being the self proclaimed CrossFit badass (Complete Lie) didn't complete the workout in time.  When the 12 minutes came, I was at 124 Wall Balls. That sucks. That blows. I was the only one in our 5am class that didn't finish. I was a gumby legged pissed off fool.

Fast forward to around that 8am time and I was in the kitchen with T and C2 was at the table eating breakfast. Now T doesn't care about CrossFit, but she loves me and pretends to listen and so do the kids. (That is some true love)  I was telling her about Karen and how she kicked my ass. I then said "I was the ONLY person in class that didn't finish the workout in time"

Then from the table C2 (who happens to talk a lot of trash) said aloud in that smartass kind of tone

"What's the matter, Daddy gonna cry like a baby" 

WTF did you just say to me?  If I wasn't so busy laughing and standing stunned at what he said, I would have had him doing 100 burpees right after breakfast.

Laughed at and mocked by my own 8 year old. 

Gotta love him though, he gets it from me. And if you can't let your kids laugh at you and make fun of you sometimes, well you just are not having fun.

stupid ass Karen and your 150 Wall Balls.

Kiss The Baby



Monday, September 23, 2013

Little Monday Morning Rant

It's Monday we have that at least.

Well it has been a long time since I have done a blog post rant about me being better than everyone else in life.

Im kidding of course.


I have not had one of those rants where I just complain about shit and let it all out and parenting stuff and just all kinds of things have built up inside and today is a great day to let it all out.

Where to start?

Ok, lets go back a few weeks on this Miley Cyrus MTV award show dirty dancing and these people saying how they are going to raise their kids better than that and not to act like her and so on....OK ASSHOLES, You are supposed to raise your kids right no matter who or what someone else does.  She danced like a stripper, so do a lot of other 18+ year olds. Miley got what she wanted. Attention for her new album.  All these people need to stop "She is desperate", "She needs mental help" Blaah.  Shut your holes.  She is banking for looking and dancing dirty and crazy and sexual for 15 minutes during an awards show that was on CABLE TV after 9PM.  Not even Network Tv.  I don't like the songs but who cares, Miley is winning the battle of $$ right now and she doesn't care about our opinions.  So MOM's and DAD's that write post's about "My Daughter Will Never Twerk like Miley"......yeah.

Last week Jaden Smith (Will Smiths son) tweeted a few things that people seemed to cry about. You can read the comments and tweets here -->  Jaden Smith.  Now, what blows my mind is that people AGAIN are using too much time to complain about what he said. Honestly, I'm happy he has his own opinions and can say what he feels.  Oh but wait, lets have everyone be the same and say the same thing. That works all the time.

I'm sure a lot of it is editing.  I'm sure that they want to focus on the dads and not really the moms, probably the reason they call the show "Modern Dads" but shit why is it the moms are made to look like they don't do a damn thing at the house or with the kids?  I'm sure us dads don't do a lot of shit either for the moms who stay at home but come on.  They showed one of the dads who had to clean his house before he could have a guys night.  The place was a wreck. Why doesn't the wife help clean?  I know its all editing or whatever but this show makes the dads look funny and like we do it all and I don't think that's the case.  Still a funny F-ING show though.

OK. Next, I love CrossFit.  I really do. It is so much better than going to a regular "Globo" gym and standing in front of a mirror, but some people have to realize....IT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.  NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO DO IT.  And I'm fine with that.  T, she doesn't give two shits about CrossFit.  She does love me and listens to what I talk about but she in all honesty does not care.  I'm fine with that. We can have separate likes and dislikes.  Some people need to stop pushing CrossFit on everyone else. Like me for example, I ask Bert from The Bert Show almost daily is he is going to try it.  And he pretty much tells me to "F - OFF" and "NO".  I think he would love it, but that asshole seems to be doing ok for himself. Kidding Bert, you know I'm jealous of your big strong tan smooth arms. WOW. That sounded bad.   If I'm asked, I talk about it.  If someone sounds like they need a new format for exercise, I will provide it.

Mr. Jason Bailey. This damn dude.  He is another guy that is on the radio that I choose to call my friend.  Well, he isn't aware of this yet but F - IT! I can stalk whoever the hell I want.  I have hired him as my personal Fantasy Football Guru and MY TEAM SUCKS FAT NASTY BALLS. Not his fault though.  I mean I can't ask him to fully invest his time into running my team since he has a fiance, kids and all this other shit going on like a radio show and what not.  Not to mention he is quickly becoming the most liked "Smart Ass" in all of Atlanta while being on TheMorningShow for 929 The Game.

So, C1 is one child I usually never mess with.  I hardly ever get wild and wrestle with him, but Saturday we got into it. I decided Saturday evening that I was going to show him who was boss.  I was going to put "Pain and More Pain" up on his little 10 yo ass. And then it happened. It is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, is on the verge of tears and blood is flowing from a nose. YES MY DAMN NOSE. C1 sent his boney ass little knee up my nose and it was busted and blood was flowing.  I was done at that point. He won the battle but not the war.

Well I guess that is it for NOW.  That was tame.  I thought I would be much worse.

Im sure I can come up with more shit later.

Kiss The Baby



Thursday, September 19, 2013

Texas Vacation - Water Water Everywhere.

Last time we talked, I was telling you about our Sea World trip and you all were jealous and begging for us to invite you. I know I know, settle down.

Sunday came and that was the day that some of my family was coming over.  A lil pool party.

The kids were excited for a pool party.  My cousin Jennifer and her kids came over and my C's and her kids all play well together.  We had ball fights, water fights, abused each other for a bit and then had burgers, pizza and cake.

It was a fun day to just chill at the house, swim and then close the night by watching a kids movie on the outside tv by the pool.  Although we were wondering if some deer, maybe a skunk or something else was going to sneak up and attack us.

Monday was the day we were getting up KIND OF early so we could drive an hour or so and hit Schlitterbahn.  Man, I hadn't been to that place in like a hundred years and I just knew the kids would love it.   They were ready. I was ready.

First C1, C3 and I started off with a tube slide.  It was fun and I am glad that most of the slides didn't have long lines. C2 wanted to go off on his own, so he did.  He went on a cool slide too.  When we finally met back up all of us had to compare rides.   C4 had fun playing the little kids area and hanging out with Nanny and PawPaw in the little Lake area.

This place was full of fun. Check out some of the rides we hammered out. This was an all day affair, full of water, shade, rides, tubes and we even almost lost my mom a few times as the hills were hard on the wheelchair. Now when I say LOST, I mean she was on her own personal roller coaster.  But she made and can tell the tales.

What is so funny to me is that C3 is the daredevil. This girl does more crazy shit than anyone.  She had her favorite slides.  C1 had his and we rode C3's favorite like two or three times before we left.  That place is so big it has to be split into two and they are like blocks apart to where you have to take a bus.  If you ever get a chance..YOU MUST GO HERE!

That's all.

For Now.

Kiss The Baby



Monday, September 16, 2013

Texas Vacation. Out of this Sea World

Saturday was Sea World.

Now we have done Sea World before with the kids last time we went to visit, but didn't get a chance to do the water area so we made sure that we packed the suits for that.

Nothing better than doing Sea World in the triple digits.  Sarcasm. lol. Well, it was fun and I didn't care that it was hot.  Kids didn't care that it was hot.  Nanny and PawPaw, they are used to the heat so I'm sure they didn't mind either.

Looking back, we missed the ONE thing that T wanted to do and that was feed the Dolphins.  She is the Dolphin whisperer. Now she has taken her love of Dolphins to a new high. "Next time I want to swim with them" she said. WHHHAAAAAAAAT?

Things that were good and sucked at the same time.  C3 asked me to ride something with her. Can't tell her no and this ride went around in circles.  AFTER WE JUST ATE.  That sucked.  Riding the crazy spinning boat with my daredevil daughter was the good part.

C1 getting stung by a bee, that sucked.  C1 flying through the obstacle course = Good.

C2 riding the same crazy spinning boat ride was good, him telling his brother C1 to keep up in the parking lot was even better. That was funny.

C3 and C4 are the extreme ride seekers. The 4 and 6 year old kids want to ride everything. Over and Over.
The shows are always fun to see.  Its nice to see the people interact with the animals.

And what is a trip to a park like Sea World without winning some stuffed animals..

The kids each won some ducks, like that wasn't going to happen. Pond was stocked with rubber duckies.  And then I won my mom a large Octopus. That was funny.  I got 5 basketballs and had to sink more than one for the prize.  Made the first one, missed and then got robbed of a ball but the dude said "You hit 3 shots right?"  Yeah bro, I did. Gimme that stuffed thang right there. lol

Sea World must not like having stuffed animals in the park, they were giving those away. lol

I hung out with C4 on the obstacle course and the biggest trash talker other than me
had to make some crazy scenes. 

C3 and C4.  They have never met a ride they didn't like. 
Sister and Brother are going to cause havoc. 

Sea World was fun as usual.

Thanks for a fun time.

Kiss The Baby



Thursday, September 12, 2013

Texas Vacation - Day to just chill

Arriving in Texas late at night means its later where you actually came from in our case.

After maybe an hour drive out to my parents house and some late night exploring by the kids in the house to see what new things they could find, we all got some rest.

The day after we land is usually food shopping and supply shopping day for T and my dad.  That means chill out at the house for the rest.  Chilling out at the house is defined by either coloring rocks and wood outside, walking the mega acres of land and spotting deer or jackrabbits and then playing in the pool.

C2 loved talking trash. Had to toss him 

C3, the crazy one had to be throw and jump
off whatever she could...including my shoulders

C4 loved me playing with him and doing what he told me to do

I too had to show my ups

And act a fool and sing

C1, well he usually loved attacking me and then
hiding in the splashes

Friday night T, the kids and I tagged along and went to play Bingo with my parents and my Aunt and Uncle.  WOW.  These people get crazy over the Bingo.  Massive cards, people yelling all kinds of shit, people fighting for the rights of tables. This was not your average Bingo Night.  T actually won the very first game which gives you the honor of being called the Queen and she got to wear a Crown too.  She actually won two games. 

The shit you hear at Bingo - Lady calling numbers "I Have Balls in MY Hand" 

So after a relaxing Friday at the house and a night of Bingo, it was time to turn in..Sea World was on Saturday and we needed our rest. 

Kiss The Baby



Wednesday, September 11, 2013

This Day 12 Years Ago - 9/11

We live in Katy, Texas.

I am watching Good Morning America as T gets ready for work.  Oh my god.  They are going to live breaking news about a plane hitting a building in New York. Shit, this is crazy.

I am sitting here and T walks by and says "We are probably being attacked!"

T leaves out the door for work and I am still sitting watching and shit...Planes crashing all over the place. What the hell is going on?  That's it, I'm leaving for work too.  I'm hoping in my Toyota 4Runner and the radio is now telling me that a plane has hit the Pentagon.

I am freaking out now.  I am speeding to get to work to a t.v.  I am sure I am breaking many traffic laws right now but I don't care. I need to hurry to work and make some phone calls. I go running into the building and T has already called there for me.  Calling her back now, worried and we talk about the plane hitting the Pentagon.  I need to try and contact my parents.  My mom is working at the Pentagon and my father is in Crystal City, close but not really close enough.  Great, I'm not getting through.  Phone are down of course and now signals to cell phones.

Hours pass.  No one is coming in today to buy cars, we are all in front of the t.v. anyways.  I finally am leaving to go meet T for lunch. We are sitting and talking, still in shock about what has happened today.  Everyone around us is.

Planes have crashed in New York, DC and in Pennsylvania.  We have been attacked today.  I'm nervous, scared, worried, mad and threatened right now.  So hard today watching t.v. Seeing all the people at the World Trade Center scattering and running for lives.  So heroic to see the men and women rush into the shadows of death and risk their lives to save others.

Finally talk to my mom and dad and they are ok.  Great news for us.  Others are not so lucky.  Others still are in the dark about their loved ones.

Sitting at home with T and we are glued to the t.v.  Such a long day.  Such a sad day today has been.

That was then.

Still to this day, I remember how that day seemed so long.  Such a fucked up day for all of us.  I loved how we all came together and grabbed hands and became one.  We all became a strong caring loving Nation.  I have never been a firefighter.  I have never been a police officer.  I have never been a first responder, an active military service member or anyone that has jumped in the line of fire to help others.

I am a caring American.

Never Forget That Day.  Never Forget the Past 9/11's, Always remember the current 9/11's and look forward and recognize that the future 9/11's will never leave our minds, our hearts and our souls.




Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Wanna Hear About Our Vacation?

Vacations are fun.  Vacations are full of adventures.

We just returned from Texas and boy are we wiped out.  We had so much planned and we stayed busy and we filled our cups of fun to the top.

It was easy to chill at my parents house and play in the pool, feed the deer and rearrange the house.

It was also fun to go to new places that we have not gone to before with the kids and also have my parents experience new things too.

It was great to see C1 turn 10 and become so excited over a new gadget / birthday gift.

Who knew that playing Bingo could be filled with so many emotions.

Guess how many cameras are at the entrance of the Padre Island National Beach Park?

Can a 4yo get overdosed on Chocolate Fondue?

How many days did it take for me to actually do something stupid and hurt myself?

And all the years I have been talking to the peeps from CrossFit Cedar Park and always wanted to meet them and just think....Having them be at the Waterpark, not only on the same day, but at the same time and probably right next to me in line......THE OWNER, THE FAMILY and we missed each other.  So funny that it happened but so crazy.

Starting Thursday, I will be posting a little daily dose of what we did while on vacation and some of the fun things we did and stuff that happened.  For instance, what ever could a woman calling the Bingo numbers say out loud that would have everyone laughing?

Kiss The Baby


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