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Thursday, November 28, 2013

The Real Things I'm Thankful For

Well this is officially my 41st Thanksgiving and I felt like I would do something a little different.

Instead of posting about things I am Thankful for that are sweet, meaningful and caring......

I thought I would write about some things I am Thankful for from the real side of me.  The asshole, smartass side.

I'm Thankful for having this blog which has brought me so much monetary success.  The riches from this blog have allowed us to live like Royalty. I mean who would have know my writing would lead to the land of the lost.

I'm Thankful for a wife that gives me the goods whenever I want. Really. She rocks my socks.  I'm also Thankful that she never speaks her mind.  What a horrible thing that would be if she was ever to be quiet.  And how she makes fun of the way I make the bed and how my coffee is too weak.  But she does shave my back and lets me take baths that are so much longer then hers.  I'm so Thankful that she loves CrossFit.  I really wish she would stop talking about it all the time.  Shit, I'm the one doing the wod's, why does she always feel the need to talk and tweet about it?

I'm Thankful for a 10yo that laughs non stop when I walk through the house in my underwear.  So glad that he loves when I sing.  I'm also Thankful that I get to ask him a million times every day to do this or that.  Never on the first time.  I love repeating myself so that is awesome.  It is not bad at all that he has absorbed my love of Star Wars.  Now if he could in any way talk about it even more.

I'm Thankful for the 8yo that is never a smartass.  Who doesn't want a kid that has to get the last word.  I'm Thankful that he will be the one calling us later in life cause he has ran his mouth to his wife and she is about to beat his ass. I'm so happy that he has a nose for whatever T is cooking.  Now if he would stop passing gas all the time.

Speaking of passing gas, I'm Thankful for a daughter that has learned how to roll her eyes while she gasses us all out.  And would it ever be great to have a daughter that doesn't wipe toothpaste on the face towel and then drop it on the floor.  I'm Thankful for how she loves to change clothes 500 times a day and then leaves her clothes all over the floor.

How could I not be Thankful for a 4yo that I have to take Sleep Pee every night and morning till he is able to get up and not pee everywhere like an 80 year old man.  I'm so Thankful that he loves to ask questions about how do Wee Wee's get bigger and what do we do with them. Yeah.  I'm so Thankful that while he co-sleeps he at least loves me enough to lay up next to his mother.

I'm Thankful to love a pro football team that is totally sucking ass this year.  I don't mind one bit that the Falcons went 13-3 and almost to the Super Bowl to winning not even a handful of games.  Makes Sundays great.  I'm Thankful for Drew Brees being a little bitch.  I'm Thankful for Cam Newton running the ball. I just wish Ahmad Brooks would grab his neck too.  I'm Thankful the the Buc's suck too. Just wish they sucked worse than us now.

I'm sooo sooo really Thankful for WalMart.  I will be there later today in all of my Duck DieNasty gear standing in line with all of the other overdressed women with too much make up.  The guys who spit in cups and smell like ass.  We will all fight for that one thing.

In all honesty I am really a lucky to have a great wife and four wonderful kids.  I love them all and I always write the honest truth about them in the loving caring way.  Today you got some funny bits and pieces about them and why I love them.  It's for who they are and how we are as a family.  I couldn't go one a single day without all the bullshit and hell they bring.  Make the nights with T and the GOOD loving she gives me better.

Well, hope you enjoyed that.  I need to go sit on the toilet to pee, take a long bath and shave my body.  Gotta get ready for the long day.

Kiss The Baby


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