Thursday, February 19, 2015

When a year goes by

February 19th, 2014

In a bed at Kennestone Hospital,  I remember refusing to pee while I lie there.  Who the fuck pees laying down.  Unless wearing a diaper I'm not having that.  I got up, stood up and peed in the bottle.

Now a year later and removed from Georgia (not by the police - this time) we can look at the events that occurred in a number of ways.  We can be sappy and get emotional, nah that's bullshit and we've done that before.  We can be mellow and straight laced and lay out nothing but the facts.  Shit the facts are this I had a seizure and they removed a tumor.  Hey, lets all cry.  Nah.  Lets all laugh, but I'm usually the only one that thinks my shit is funny.

Screw it.  Here is what I'll do.  I have some Foo Fighters in my ears as I type this.  I've been naughty language free in recent posts but lets forget that shit.  Let's all breathe and all say FUCK at the same time.  Feels good right?

So, everyone that knows me has a pretty good understanding that I am agnostic and that is something that has pulled at me over the course of my adult life.  I don't know who to thank or what to believe but I was so unhappy and stressed at a dead end job.  I had been searching for a job for so long in either Florida or Texas and then it all happened.  I can remember the sour cries of others as I ate my homemade fish tacos that made the office stink. So what, fish smells get over it.  I talked to T on the phone, then from memories that I will never recall, I face planted on the grossest, nastiest floor in the history of floors.  Think interstate rest stop floors.  Think concert porta potty floors.  Think football..OK you get my point. The reason I started this was to say, the seizure was my way out of that prison.  Yeeeee damn Haw.

I've learned a lot in the past year.  Now do I call this an Anniversary?  Do I call it a celebration of another year lived?  I didn't even realize today was "THE DAY" until saw a few messages.

I had a seizure, some shit was pulled out of my head and some hot woman by the name of Brenda stapled me back up again.  The past year has brought changes and challenges.  I have added family to our core of 6.  I have found out who is there for you and who is not.  Trust me you wouldn't guess some of the people that are on which side.  A cousin I talked mad shit about, came to my side. I have met so many NEW people since moving that are awesome.

I get crazy headaches which is ok, at least I don't get major aches and pains in my ass.  Or balls.  I have a weird looking scar on my head, but I'm ok with that too.  I tell people I was overhead squatting like 250lb's on a weak bar and it broke on my head.  I get to take cool naps in a machine where music plays, my mri's.  I help support vampires across the World by giving blood monthly.  Oh shit, can't forget the awesome Chemo I take orally, don't take the word oral out of context.  And the glowing green color I have when you see me is not from the crazy clothes I wear or my socks, it's from all of the radiation.

So let's say FUCK IT, realize Fuck is just a word.  If you are crying about me using the word FUCK then well shit, I'm sorry.

Have a #BetterThanDying day and like a wise man told me

"Don't look behind, Look Ahead" - Bobby Brooks


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